Tag Archives: ceremony

Is your wedding day the most important of your life?

 

Is your wedding day the most important of day of your life? You hear that it is a lot. People talking about ‘the big day’ and ‘the best day of your life’ and all of these pressure filled statements. But is it? Should it be?

I say No.

Surprising as it may be that as a celebrant, someone who should be wanting people to have weddings and get married, I don’t think that it should be the most important day of your life. It may seem when planning it that it is, but it shouldn’t be. Don’t for one moment think that I am saying that you shouldn’t want to have a wedding, or that you shouldn’t get married. I’m just saying that it’s not just about the ‘wedding’ and the one day.
It is without a doubt a wonderful day and you will look back on it as one of the most fantastic and beautiful days of your life. It is special and amazing with all of the people that you love are around you witnessing you make promises to the person that you love most in the world.

It is not the most important day of your life though. It will be over in the blink of an eye. All of the time, money and hard work that you put into planning your day will pay off I’m sure, but the wedding day isn’t the most important part. Your ‘marriage’ is the most important part. Your marriage isn’t defined by the day. The success of your marriage isn’t about the dress, or the food or the flowers or that amazing arbour or the 3, 5 or 26 attendants that you had. It’s about the two of you and the time that has come before ‘the big day’ and the years that follow that ‘best day of your life’

It’s about the person that you have chosen to stick with, through whatever your lives will bring. It’s the person that you promise to ride the storms with and through good times and bad and you will both give it your best go. It’s when life can’t be 50/50 all the time, that you will be willing to carry that 80/20, and the person that you appreciate when they do they 80% and all you have in you is the 20%. These are the most important days of your life the ones that you grit your teeth through, so that when you have more of these amazing days, when you see each other and your family and friends succeed that you can appreciate the wonderful times and smile knowingly at each other that you get to share those moments.
Try to remember this when planning the ‘big day’. Things will happen and things will go wrong on your wedding day, just as they do if real life and things won’t always end up as you envisioned them to be. But have your wedding so that you are grateful that you picked the right person to be by your side whatever happens and whatever comes your way that you will be in it all together.

A big thank you to Kirralee for the use of her photos on this blog, you can follow her work or find her on facebook here.

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Letters from loved ones

I love a good letter. I love reading them and I love writing them. It’s like a good card. I always feel like they are worth the effort and they are something that I hold on to. I’m sentimental with that sort of thing and even started writing to my children even before they were born. I write them a letter at every birthday and have been putting them away to give to them when they are older.  I’m not sure what prompted me to start doing these things but it’s something that I would have loved to have had myself. Every birthday I sit and write them a letter about the year, the things they have done to make me laugh and that make me proud. A reminder to them that they can be themselves, and no matter what that looks like, they will be loved.

At my wedding I wrote a letter for my best friend, my bridesmaid. I gave my husband a card but didn’t know too much about weddings back then and in hindsight, could have written him a letter and had someone else read it out as part of our ceremony.

Recently, I have had a few people who have had guests who were unable to attend their ceremony. I mentioned that it might be a nice thing to do to have their loved ones write them a letter. They can have it read out, or not. I personally think it would be lovely to have it read by someone else before the couple read it themselves. Just be sure to have someone check the length of it and make sure there were no huge surprises in it!

You could ask them to include advice for your marriage, or well wishes for your future together. They could include memories of their weddings, memories of when you met as a couple or it could be as simple as just them choosing a poem, a blessing or if you are religious, a prayer.
I think that it is a wonderful way to include family that may be unable to travel to the wedding. Especially if they are very close to you. If your Grandparent has played a huge role in your life and is unable to travel, or if your best friend lives overseas and simply cannot afford to be at your wedding. It would be a lovely way to include them on your wedding day.

Thank you to Kirralee for the use of her images on this blog, check out more of her work here or find her facebook page by clicking here.

 

 

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Declaration of no Impediment to Marriage

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The Declaration of no Impediment to Marriage is a document that you have to sign before your marriage ceremony. It will be on the reverse side of the Official Certificate of Marriage that you will sign on your wedding day.  It is usually signed at the rehearsal, or the last time that you meet with the celebrant before the big day. It must be signed before you are married. It can be signed on the day if needs be, but it has to be signed legally before the ceremony takes place.

This document is basically a Statutory Declaration that you are over the age of 18 and there is no legal reason that you cannot be married to the person that you are about to marry. (If you are under 18 years of age you can still sign the paperwork, but you have to get a court approval to be married and it must be to someone that is over the age of 18) It states that you are a person who has never been validly married, or that you are a divorced person, or a widow or widower, and that there is no reason you cannot be married to the person that you are marrying.

Photo from Love Journal. Check out more of their work here.

 

 

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Not walking down the aisle

Some people don’t like the idea of walking down the aisle. I’ve previously blogged about walking down the aisle, and timing when walking down the aisle and have some ideas there about what you different things you can have.  What can you do if you really don’t want to walk down the aisle? Some people don’t like the idea of walking down in front of all of those people, or having all of the attention on them at that time. Some people don’t like the idea of being ‘given away’ or have to decide who they would ask to do that for them.

Some venues don’t have a traditional aisle and you don’t necessarily need to walk down one. Other times you just simply don’t want to. There is no rule to this obviously so you can really do whatever you like. Other than big grand gestures like arriving at your wedding in a helicopter or being jet skied to the ceremony spot, there are so many ways you can get to the ceremony spot. I have conducted a few weddings where the bride has arrived to the ceremony in a boat, but on those occasions they still walked down an aisle as such.

One option is, depending on the venue, is to have both the bride and groom arrive together, this is a great idea if you want to have your photos taken before the ceremony or decide on a first look photo shoot. You could enter together down the aisle or some venues have a side door that you could come through together once all of your guests are seated and ready. This is a great alternative if you don’t like everyone looking at you, or you’re just not that keen on it being all about the bride, or that the normal wedding traditions are not really your thing.

You could decide to both be at the venue and greet your guests as they arrive if you don’t like the idea of a grand entrance.  This could be a lot less pressure but you would also want to make sure that you allowed time before the actual start of the ceremony. You could set the time so that you had time before the ceremony for people to mingle and if you wanted you could even have some drinks and canapes before,  obviously this would depend on the venue and always be mindful to the  the fact that people might be a little less likely to like being round up for the actual ceremony once the ‘celebration’ side of the wedding starts. This is a lovely casual way to begin the ceremony and takes the pressure off. It is certainly for people who want to break with tradition and aren’t too fussy about the day going to a well planned schedule. That being said people know why they are there and there are ways to give people the message that the ceremony is about to begin.

 

You could be at the ceremony site and let the guests enter, so keep them out of the area or venue until you are ready for them all to be ushered into the space. This way you can have photos taken in the space or just make sure that you are ready to begin, this might not work so well if you are outdoors in a park as people will not be kept away as well as if you have your ceremony in a little chapel and keep the doors closed until you are ready to let them in for the ceremony. This could be really lovely and a great way to make sure that everyone is ready to go. A lovely way to spend some time with your bridal party, especially if you are going to all be inside for a while waiting for all of the guests to arrive and you don’t want to be seen by any of them.

Did you enter your wedding in a creative way or have you been to a wedding that had a wonderful alternative to walking down the aisle?

Thank you to Kirralee for the use of her images on this blog, check out more of her work here or find her facebook page by clicking here.

 

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Scattering of Ashes

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I have heard a bit of talk lately about scattering of ashes. There was even some talk about it on Gogglebox quite a while back. That show is my guilty pleasure and one of the only shows on television I really want to watch. Adam was telling Symon that he wanted his ashes spread on the MCG. He even told Symon that he should put his ashes in his pocket and just let them out on the ‘G’ while on a MCG tour. I love that he knows what he wants done with his ashes and that he had thought out how to do it. There are a few issues with his plan, however, and not sure how well Symon or anyone would be able to pull this plan off.

It’s not as easy as just deciding where you want your loved ones ashes scattered. There are all sorts of things that need to be taken into consideration. Some places it is illegal to scatter human ashes. For example in the Royal Botanical Gardens in Melbourne it is strictly prohibited. At Hobsons Bay City Council, they expressly permit the scattering of ashes on land owned or managed by council. So you would really need to check with the appropriate council where you wanted to scatter the ashes.

There are a lot of companies that will take you out on their boat and you can scatter your loved ones ashes at sea.

I personally haven’t scattered any ashes or been to a ceremony that has done so, but I know that when my Grandmother passes away she wants to have her ashes scattered with the ashes of my Grandfather at Rye beach where they spent (and a lot of our family spent) many summer holidays and where many wonderful memories were made. I love the idea and have known about it for as long as I can remember, my grandfather died more than 30 years ago and it was something that has always been openly discussed.

There are a lot of interesting and informative sites online discussing it, and they have many great tips and ideas for people who are planning to do this.  Numerous sites mention that the ashes are not like they are on television they are not this lovely soft white powder that will be easily blown away but they have bone fragments and are nothing like campfire  ash.  They mention that you should be very aware of what the weather is doing that no one wants to be standing the wrong way in the wind when ashes are being scattered.

It’s something that you would really want to research and make sure nothing is forgotten. Maybe take some photos so that if people who are not able to attend have a point of reference if they wanted to visit the site on an important anniversary.

Another issue, is how much of the ashes get scattered? I guess it depends if the family are all in agreement about the scattering of ashes. Some people may want to keep some of the ashes. Some companies make jewellery from loved ones ashes so that you can have them with you at all times. There are a lot of things to consider with the scattering of ashes and in general when there are family members to be considered and loves ones wishes to adhere to.

Have you scattered ashes of a loved one? Would you consider having your ashes scattered?

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Wonderful way to make sure your guests RSVP

pre-wedding-photography-in-Melbourne-Australia-11Having people RSVP, on time or at all, is a real problem. I’ve blogged before about RSVPs and people not turning up on your wedding day.

I recently heard about a genius way to make sure that guests RSVP to your wedding. Don’t give all of the information on your invitation! As strange as this may sound. Leave the important details off, the address of the ceremony or the function center details for the reception, or both. People will have to contact you or whomever you choose to get further details about attending the wedding.

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Make sure that you have worked out how you want this information then given later. There are many ways that this can be done.

You could set up a website that is provided to the people that RSVP via an email or a text message so that you can have all of the information ready to go. I’ve blogged before about having a website with information for the guests, you can read it here. You don’t even have to monitor that yourself, you can always have a bridesmaid or one of your family members who is wanting to help be in charge of getting all of the RSVP emails sent to them.

You could send out a second paper invitation or information sheet to them if you prefer the snail mail option. You could have some fun with this by having creative invitations sent as the first invite with the ‘RSVP for more information’.  You could have a video invitation, like Leah and Mark had, that had a second part sent as a link when people responded. My friend had tea towels printed for her wedding invite, you could send something like that out and then send out a second one with all the relevant information on them once you received the initial interest from the guests. Again, this is a way that you can ‘theme’ your wedding to your personalities and you are only limited by your imagination, and time and budget!

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There are so many great ways that you could use this idea to your advantage. Do you think that this is a good way to get guests to respond?

A very big thank you to Love Journal Photography for the use of their images on this weeks blog. Check out their website and have a look at their facebook to see all their latest work.

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Kendra and Luke

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On a beautiful November day last year I was lucky enough to conduct the wedding of Kendra and Luke. Their wedding was held at the stunning Lindenderry Estate in Red Hill. I love Red Hill. I love the beach and I love vines. Both hold ties to growing up for me and my favourite winery is Red Hill Estate because of the views of the sea and the vines. So I was very excited to be conducting another wedding down on the Mornington Peninsula and Lindenderry didn’t disappoint.

I’m lucky enough to get to see lots of different wineries and estates because of conducting weddings. This is one that I would love to go back to. A really stunning place with a lovely looking restaurant, accommodation and day spa.

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Kendra and Luke have spent the last ten years in love. After meeting at the 18th birthday of their friend Bianca, Kendra thought Luke was very confident, handsome and very easy to talk to. Luke thought that Kendra was gorgeous and smart. However, it was almost 2 years later before they went on their first date. They have spent the years just enjoying the simple things in life together. They love hearing about each other’s day and are just happy spending time together no matter what the activity. Regardless if it’s trying out new restaurants, watching movies and tv shows, enjoying music and seeing bands, or traveling. As long as they are together they are happy.

They haven’t had to make too many adjustments to make a happy life together. They make each other laugh and get on each others nerves like any couple. Kendra takes a long time getting ready for bed but always insists on going to bed first. She even thinks it’s funny that Luke spends lots of time in the bathroom doing his hair and can’t stand still when he is on the phone. They have a really strong foundation to their relationship and they never stop each other doing things that they enjoy as individuals. They love spending time together but are also aware of the importance of spending time with their family and friends without the other sometimes too.

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It’s obvious how in love Luke and Kendra are when they start to talk about all the things that they love about each other. Luke feels like he can tell Kendra anything, and he loves that she is very loving and caring. She is generous and would do almost anything for her loved ones. Kendra said that Luke is very supportive and whenever she is stressed or anxious he knows how to calm her down. They can always work through things as a team. Luke teaches her new things, makes her laugh and feel loved and safe.

I asked them to tell me when they knew that they were in love, neither of them could pin point the moment that they knew. However they can not remember not being in love.

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I’ve known Luke for quite a few years through my husbands work. I’ve also worked with him on some weddings he has photographed, so we knew each other. Conducting someones wedding is different though, so it was really lovely to be able to get to know him and Kendra. There is something lovely about helping someone that you know get married. Luckily for me I spend quite a bit of time with lots of couples and getting to know them is one of the ‘perks of the job’. Making new friends and getting to be a part of their wedding is a very special thing.

For me having my photographic background comes in handy when I’m conducting weddings, working with photographers and videographers. My ‘day job’ means I get to geek out with cameras and all of the gear. At this wedding, it was so exciting for the photographic geek part of me as Luke and Kendra had a drone! Not during the ceremony, but while we were setting up, Mario flew the drone over a few times getting footage of the stunning ceremony site and working with the photographer and videographer to work out the footage that they would be using to make a video for Kendra and Luke.

The next day I received a beautiful text message from Luke and Kendra telling me how happy they were and that they had lots of lovely compliments from people, even some of their old Italian relatives who had never been to a wedding outside of a church. I love hearing feedback that the couple have received and hearing that people enjoyed the ceremony. I love creating and delivering a ceremony. I love being a part of the wedding and making it suit the couple. What really warms my heart when people tell me, or the couple, just how much they enjoyed the ceremony and how much they felt that it matched the couple.

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Kendra and Luke’s beautiful photos were taken by Seda Photography. You can look at her website here or find her facebook page by clicking here.   Also have a look at the stunning Lindenderry at Red Hill website and plan your next wine tasting weekend.

 

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