Inviting some guests to the ceremony only

Would you consider inviting select guests to the ceremony only? Do you let them know that they are not invited to the reception or pretend like it is a ceremony only wedding? (I have blogged about Ceremony only weddings here if you want to read more about them)
I think this one is really tough and think that there are only a few situations that you can do this yet I still don’t really understand how you can do this without offending people. I know that on a few occasions my sister has been invited to the ceremony only part of a wedding. I remember thinking that it is was quite odd. It kind of feels like we like you, but not enough that we will pay for your meal.  The celebrant part of me gets it in a way. I’m used to attending just the ceremony of a wedding, and to me the ceremony is the wedding. The party afterwards is the gravy, awesome and great fun. I love the celebration, but if there isn’t a reception, the couple are still married.

I have heard that people want to invite all the people from their church or work group to come along to the ceremony but not invite them to the wedding. I wonder though, do people feel that if they are invited to the ceremony should they be invited to the reception. I’m not sure how you would word this on the invitation and how do you keep track of the RSVP’s? Is a gift expected if you don’t get an invite to the reception? It is all a bit confusing for me.

We had people come to our wedding because they wanted to come to the ceremony and we hadn’t invited them. One of my uncle’s drove trucks and made sure that he drove through Mildura on my wedding day so he could see it. It was a lovely surprise. We didn’t really mind if people came to the ceremony, but our reception venue only held 50 people. I did have one of my relatives ring me up and ask why they weren’t being invited to the wedding at all. Once I said that there was only space for 50 guests, they suggested that I change the venue and have it catered by another relative. I replied that this was where I had my heart set on and that I wasn’t changing it. They said that they wanted to be a part of my special day, despite not having seen me for a number of years. I suggested that they could come over when I was in my track suit and we could have a special day together. This didn’t really go over too well. I then mentioned that we were having a BBQ the following day at my in-laws house and, if they wanted to, they could attend that. If they would like, they were more than welcome to come to the ceremony. Funnily enough, they didn’t come to either and I’ve probably seen them twice in the 16 years that I have been married. What I’m trying to say is that unless someone asked me, or questioned where their invite was, I didn’t think to invite people just to the ceremony, only as I’m not sure how I would feel if someone asked me to so that.

The only experience that I have had with a similar thing to this, was one of my work colleges had their wedding in their home on a Friday and that was a really small intimate affair where they had a ceremony and a lovely sit down meal with about 15 of their immediate family. The night after they had a finger food reception in a basement of a pub and it was fantastic. I get this that sometimes you want to have just a really intimate ceremony and then a party with all the people that you couldn’t invite to the small affair.  My best friend did the same thing, (you can read all about her wedding renewal of vows here), where a select group of family and friends came on the boat journey for the ceremony and a lunch and  then everyone met up for a huge awesome party at the end. I can see why people might want to do things like this and just have the ceremony small and intimate. I’m just not sure that I understand when people do it the other way around.
What do you think? Would you be offended and not go to the wedding, if you were only invited for the ceremony? Do you think that if people are invited to the ceremony that they should be invited to the wedding?

A big thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their beautiful images on the blog this week. You can see their website by clicking here. Or view their facebook page too.

Ella and Lucas

Ella and Lucas were married on a fantastic Sunday in April, at Jacobs Reserve in Brunswick West.  What a great little park with an awesome playground area to keep the kids amused. They had their reception in the Scout Hall that is at the back of Jacobs Reserve.

Lucas and Ella’s love story began around a decade ago when they met at  a party through a wonderful friend to them and to me, Vix.  Ella thought that Lucas was a mega dork with his post modernism talk, but they got past that, and managed to laugh and flirt and laugh some more. Lucas’ first impression of Ella was that she was a total babe. He thought she was funny, flirty and he loved her red hair.

They have spent the last 10 years making some wonderful memories and making a beautiful family. They spent the first half of their relationship having fun with their friends and travelling around the world. To India, Thailand, and on a yacht trip in the Whitsunday’s. They have some sketchy and some wonderful memories of great festivals. More recently they have very cherished memories of the times that they welcomed their children into the world.

Ella arrived to the wedding in an amazing red charger. When she stepped out of the car, Lucas said “OH, WOW” and then told me how Ella had a dress for the wedding but had seen another outfit that she thought would be perfect. She looked at this outfit for 5 days in a row. Lucas hadn’t seen it and was blown away. She looked stunning, in a wonderful sparkly dress and little sparkly top over it.

Ella and Lucas get on each others nerves and make each other laugh. They both don’t like being told what to do, which can make life interesting.  Lucas laughs when Ella tells a great story and she has a good joke with everyone, sometimes mocking them, but mostly mocking Lucas. Lucas make Ella laugh with the fact that he is able to laugh at himself. It became obvious to me just how in love they are when I asked them about the stand qualities that the other has. Ella said that Lucas has resilience and drive, and lots of love to give. She said that Lucas has an ability to always see her potential, even when she can’t see it herself, and it really counts after all these years. Lucas said that Ella has an amazing ability to get people talking and telling stories. Lucas loves the way that she cares so much for all of those that she loves.

Lucas had proposed to Ella at least 5 times over the last 10 years, usually Ella would tell him to ask her again when he was sober. This year, while Lucas was away on a work conference, he sent Ella an engagement card with a question mark in it. When he got back from the trip, he got down on one knee in the street where they live and asked Ella to be his wife.

What a wonderful wedding!! Ella and Lucas had their kids be part of their ceremony and before the wedding Miss F introduced me to her friends saying “This is my friend Deb, and she is the boss of the wedding” super cute.  All the kids looked fantastic and had a part in the ceremony. We had a moment near the ring exchange where we asked “Who has the ring for Ella?” and Miss F yelled loudly “I do”, and before we even had a chance to ask who had Lucas’ ring, Little Mr R was yelling out his “I do’s” it was really lovely for them to be a part of the ceremony. There was an amazing atmosphere when they exchanged their vows, it is always a special moment when any couple exchange their vows, but there was just something really special about standing there while Ella and Lucas made promises to one another.  I love that everything for this wedding was done in a matter of weeks and they decided that they wanted to do it all. Everything just evolved. People all pitched in to help and it truly was a wonderful experience.  They had ‘The Burnt Sausages’ all set up and ready to play their live music.

Ella and Lucas are some of the loveliest and real people that you could ever wish to meet. They are some of those people that you think that you are lucky that you met them. Each time that I have met with them or spent time with them I’ve gone away thinking, ‘Aren’t they just the loveliest people’. Yep, again I feel lucky that I get to help these people exchange their vows, and make them married.

5 Tips to ensure you are the ideal wedding guest

There are a few things that you can do to be considered an ideal guest when attending a wedding. And there are things that you can do that can take the stress away from the couple and from a lot of other people.

1. RSVP on time.
Make sure that you RSVP by the date requested on the invitation and in the manner that they request you to. If they have an RSVP card, send that. If they request email, respond in that way. They are asking for it a certain way for a reason and speak up now about any dietary requirements.

2. Read the invitation.

Please  read the invitation and take notice of the things that it says. Take it with you if you won’t remember or think that it might be helpful. Take notice of all the important things, the time, the dress code, the venue of the ceremony and reception. Don’t message the Bride or one of the bridesmaids on the day asking any of these things!

3. Arrive close to the time that the ceremony will start.

I turn up at weddings early, that’s my job. There have been times when I arrive at the ceremony site, sometimes more than an hour before the ceremony is due to start, and there are guests there already. Don’t get there that early. Don’t stress out any vendors that are doing what they need to do before everything happens. Get there with enough time to get settled and allow a little time for traffic, but don’t get there way before. Don’t be late either. Don’t follow the Bride down the aisle, if you are late. Wait until you wont be noticed and sneak in. Or just don’t be late.

4. Don’t sit up the back.

If there are enough seats that it appears that everyone will be seated, make sure you sit. Also make sure that you don’t sit as far back as possible. Its a wedding, not a school bus. Obviously don’t sit in the front rows unless you are family. But don’t sit right at the back. There is nothing worse than a big gap of empty seats in the middle of the ceremony. The couple have paid money for you to sit in most of these circumstances. Also if there are only a limited number of chairs, don’t just sit down. Leave them for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant guests.

5. Respect the wishes of the couple.
If they ask for an unplugged wedding, put the camera/ phone down. I’ve blogged on a few occasions about unplugged weddings. Firstly, your phone should be on silent anyway, (this should be a no brainer) but if they have asked for no photos, don’t be that jerk who just takes them anyway. It’s their day, they should have the people that are attending respect their wishes. This also goes for social media. (and is just plain manners in my book) Don’t post photos to facebook or Instagram until the couple have, or they have provided you with a hashtag that they want you to use. How do you know if they want to share them with the world otherwise?

A big thank you again, to Love Journal Photography for the use of their images on the blog this week.  Visit their website by clicking here. Or follow them on facebook to see what they are up to.

Robyn and Andrew

Andrew and Robyn were married at Ballara Receptions in Eltham on a stunning April afternoon.  I’ve conducted a wedding there before but every time I go there I am still blown away by how lovely the venue is. The little chapel with those stunning wooden doors is just divine.  What a stunning day for a wedding. There was rain forecast for the  day but the rain held of until late in the evening and the day was just wonderful.

Andrew and the Groomsmen all arrived in the most wonderful cars, they were just amazing and by the time that Robyn and all of her attendants had arrived there were 3 stunning blue hot rods. They had their motors showing and were a huge hit with the guests. The blue of the cars matched the  blue of the bridesmaids dresses. The dresses were really stunning and they were able to be worn in different styles so that all the bridesmaids could feel comfortable. All of the 5 attendants carried beautiful red roses. Robyn looked breathtaking, and she had the perfect rockabilly hairstyle and stunning veil.

Robyn and Andrew have had 5 years of fun and adventure together. Andrew’s first impression of Robyn was that she is a beautiful and kind woman. Robyn remembers that she first noticed his eyes and she thought that he was very easy to talk to. They love nothing more than going for a long drive, or having dinner in a nice restaurant and spending a night away somewhere. They have been setting goals for their future and spending as much time together as possible. They have shared several milestones and bought their first home together. They have travelled overseas and made some wonderful memories. The first time that Andrew had travelled overseas they went to Bali, they remember being so in love and so stress free. Andrew remembers that Robyn organised everything and it was almost entirely based around what he wanted to do.

They make each other laugh and get on each others nerves. Andrew is a very organised man and fells strong about how everything has to be just right and Robyn leaves clutter all over their house. Robyn laughs when Andrew picks up their dog Brutus and treats him like he is a baby. Andrew laughs at Robyn when she asks the same question several times in a short period of time and never hears the answer.

Andrew had picked out all the music for the day and it all fit in perfectly. One thing that I loved about working with Andrew and Robyn was they knew how they wanted things to be. They had an idea in their mind and we just needed to make it work. They knew that they wanted the attendants to walk down the aisle to a different song than Robyn.

What a wonderful day for a truly lovely couple, I’m so lucky that I get to know all of these people that I never would before and I get to share in one of  the most fantastic days of their lives.

Thank you to the guys at Reid Studio, click here to go to their website and see some more of their work.