Declaration of no Impediment to Marriage

The Declaration of no Impediment to Marriage is a document that you have to sign before your marriage ceremony. It will be on the reverse side of the Official Certificate of Marriage that you will sign on your wedding day.  It is usually signed at the rehearsal, or the last time that you meet with the celebrant before the big day. It must be signed before you are married. It can be signed on the day if needs be, but it has to be signed legally before the ceremony takes place.

This document is basically a Statutory Declaration that you are over the age of 18 and there is no legal reason that you cannot be married to the person that you are about to marry. (If you are under 18 years of age you can still sign the paperwork, but you have to get a court approval to be married and it must be to someone that is over the age of 18) It states that you are a person who has never been validly married, or that you are a divorced person, or a widow or widower, and that there is no reason you cannot be married to the person that you are marrying.

Photo from Love Journal. Check out more of their work here.

 

 

5 Tips to ensure you are the ideal wedding guest

There are a few things that you can do to be considered an ideal guest when attending a wedding. And there are things that you can do that can take the stress away from the couple and from a lot of other people.

1. RSVP on time.
Make sure that you RSVP by the date requested on the invitation and in the manner that they request you to. If they have an RSVP card, send that. If they request email, respond in that way. They are asking for it a certain way for a reason and speak up now about any dietary requirements.

2. Read the invitation.

Please  read the invitation and take notice of the things that it says. Take it with you if you won’t remember or think that it might be helpful. Take notice of all the important things, the time, the dress code, the venue of the ceremony and reception. Don’t message the Bride or one of the bridesmaids on the day asking any of these things!

3. Arrive close to the time that the ceremony will start.

I turn up at weddings early, that’s my job. There have been times when I arrive at the ceremony site, sometimes more than an hour before the ceremony is due to start, and there are guests there already. Don’t get there that early. Don’t stress out any vendors that are doing what they need to do before everything happens. Get there with enough time to get settled and allow a little time for traffic, but don’t get there way before. Don’t be late either. Don’t follow the Bride down the aisle, if you are late. Wait until you wont be noticed and sneak in. Or just don’t be late.

4. Don’t sit up the back.

If there are enough seats that it appears that everyone will be seated, make sure you sit. Also make sure that you don’t sit as far back as possible. Its a wedding, not a school bus. Obviously don’t sit in the front rows unless you are family. But don’t sit right at the back. There is nothing worse than a big gap of empty seats in the middle of the ceremony. The couple have paid money for you to sit in most of these circumstances. Also if there are only a limited number of chairs, don’t just sit down. Leave them for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant guests.

5. Respect the wishes of the couple.
If they ask for an unplugged wedding, put the camera/ phone down. I’ve blogged on a few occasions about unplugged weddings. Firstly, your phone should be on silent anyway, (this should be a no brainer) but if they have asked for no photos, don’t be that jerk who just takes them anyway. It’s their day, they should have the people that are attending respect their wishes. This also goes for social media. (and is just plain manners in my book) Don’t post photos to facebook or Instagram until the couple have, or they have provided you with a hashtag that they want you to use. How do you know if they want to share them with the world otherwise?

A big thank you again, to Love Journal Photography for the use of their images on the blog this week.  Visit their website by clicking here. Or follow them on facebook to see what they are up to.

Poem to a Parent

I recently conducted a wedding where the Bride had a wonderful idea (read the blog about it here). She had me read a poem to her Dad once he had walked her down the aisle. Before he sat down, a poem was read that thanked him for all he had done for and all he had taught his daughter, it was a beautiful and touching moment. There were quite a few tears shed already so early in the ceremony. A very proud moment for her Dad and a lovely way to say some things to your Dad, publicly.

This got me thinking about all of the people that you could do this for. I don’t mean have 7 or 8 people that you read letters out to, if there are that many people that need a special thank you, it is better if you do this in a different way. However, if there are people in your life that have done really wonderful things for you it can be a lovely thing to do in your ceremony. For example if your Grandmother had raised you, it could be an opportune time to say a few lovely words to let her know that it has shaped you into the person that you are.

It could also be a really touching way to say something about someone that has passed away. (I have blogged about this before, this can be an emotional and touchy subject). It could be a great way to say something about a very important person in your life that is no longer around to share your day with you.

You can also do this without it being public. What a nice thing to do to write a poem or just a heartfelt letter to someone special on your day, thank your Parents or maybe thank your Mother and Father in law for making your partner the person that you love so much.  You could also print something in your order of service booklets if you are having them, so that you can say some things but don’t really have to say it out loud. Especially if you think that there may be too much emotion involved.

Do you have any other original ideas of ways to thank people that are very special to you on your wedding day?

A big Thank-you to Love Journal Photography for the use of their photos on this weeks blog. Check them out on facebook or head on over to their website to see what they have been working on.

Your ceremony, the legal words required

 

The wonderful thing about getting married by a celebrant is that you can have your day your way, (see another blog about that here). You should have your wedding reflect you. When I meet with people I spend a bit of time talking with them about the legalities that are involved with the ceremony. As far as your ceremony wording goes there are not too many things that you legally have to have.  As far as the law is concerned you have to have the monitum and you have to have vows. Thats it. Your wedding could be over and finished in a matter of minutes, but why would you want that. (but if you did, it is ok too)

You have to include the monitum. It is said by the celebrant and must be said for your marriage to be valid. It explains the marriage under Australian Law. It must be said before the legal vows.

The monitum is:

I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law.

Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.

Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.

You then have to share vows.  In these vows you must use your full name, as it appears on your birth certificate, or passport (If you have been married once before, you use the name that you have been using), you cannot use nicknames or an abbreviation of your name. The rest of the ceremony you can be referred to as whatever you are known as for example your name is Debra and you use Deb, you must say Debra in your vows, and the rest of the ceremony you may be referred to as Deb.

The vows that you have to include are:

I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband)

You can also choose to have personal vows as long as they do not contradict the legal vows. You can write your own, (see previous blog about it here). You can promise each other whatever you like, read song lyrics or copy vows from your favourite movie.

This is all that you legally have to have, no rings, no ‘do you take this man’, no ‘who gives this woman to be married to this man’. These are the only things that you MUST have. Rings are lovely, and there are lots of beautiful words that can be included when you are asking ‘do you take this man to be your husband/wife’. You can have lots of beautiful words that you can have your parents say to show their support for your marriage. Just remember though, all of that is up to you, how you want it and can all be tailored to you and your partner.

In saying that is all you have to have, most people want to have more than that and that is the beauty of it. Have things in it that are about you and your partner. Have readings, have warming of rings, have a candle ceremony, whatever you like. Make your day you. I say it often, but the best indication for me that a wedding is successful, (other than the Bride and Groom are happy) is when family and friends mention to me how much the ceremony suited the couple.

Have you been to a wedding that just suited the couple to a tee, or have you been to a wedding that was almost all legal wording? I’d love to hear about all the good and bad weddings you have experienced.

Thank-you to the team at Love Journal Photography for the use of their stunning images on the blog this week. Check out their website and follow them on facebook to see all their latest work.

 

Timing and Walking down the aisle

When I talk to people about walking down the aisle, a lot of questions come to mind. How long it is going to take? How quickly should I walk? Do we wait for the first bridesmaid to get to the ceremony spot before the next bridesmaid starts to walk? Should we fade out the music at the end, when everyone is in place? Should we have a different song for the bridesmaids? What if the part of the song I want to walk down to starts at 1 minute 15 seconds?

As far as my job is concerned this is one of the most talked about parts of the day. Have a good think about this and imagine how you want it to be and do just that. This is one of the perfect reasons to have a wedding rehearsal. (Read my blog here about 6 Reasons to have a Wedding Rehearsal)  Don’t worry about tradition or what you’ve seen at some other weddings, unless of course you loved what they did and want to do something similar. Simply do whatever you like. It’s your day, people are there to see you exchange your vows, and they can wait if they need to. What’s 2 minutes? Some of the loveliest entrances at weddings are when the guests have had to wait.

Holly and Simon chose to have Perth by Bon Iver playing as Holly entered the Hall. When we were having  the rehearsal, we all discussed that the song has a full minute of intro before the lyrics really kick in, and that is what Holly wanted to enter to. We decided that 1 minute isn’t a lot for people to wait. Walk in when you want. People can wait, they are there for your day, no other reason. You might as well have what you want.
Sean and Chloe had the Imperial March from Star Wars as they entered the stage in their theatre venue. Chloe didn’t want to walk down the aisle and this suited not only the venue, but them as a couple and what they are interested in.
Mel and Cat had the beautiful Day Too Soon, by Sia. They had the music start when the taxi pulled into view. A long song like Day Too Soon is perfect for something like this, it gave them plenty of time to get out of the taxi and then walk down the aisle.  I think it makes such a difference when people have songs with beautiful lyrics that mean a lot to them. It just makes it all the more special.

I have never been to a wedding and heard anyone say that the bride took too long to walk down the aisle or complaints about the song that was chosen. This is something that should mean something to the couple. Some couples choose to have their attendants walk in to a different song than the bride, especially when the groom has a song that he has always imagined the bride walking in to. It sometimes doesn’t ‘fit’ if her attendants walk in to that song too. I think that the song the bride walks down the aisle to is like the soundtrack for that part of the wedding. It tells a small part of the couple’s story if the song is important to them. It can create a huge amount of emotion, not just for the groom but for a number of the guests too.
Have you been to a wedding that was especially moving when the Bride entered because of the music? Or a wedding where the song choice left a lot to be desired? I’d love to hear about it.

Thank you to Love Journal Photography for the stunning images on the blog this week. See more of their work at by visiting their website or you can see what they are up to on facebook.

 

Wearing flats on your wedding day

The shoes that you choose can make a huge difference on your wedding day. Would you wear flats on your wedding day, or are high heels a must?

I must admit that shoes confuse me, I’m not a ‘lover of shoes’ kinda gal. I get that they are stunning, beautiful things, but high heels and I are not really friends. We just don’t get along. I’m more of a flat little ballet shoe kind of person (or more honestly, a Birkenstock wearer).  If I do wear high shoes the heel needs to be chunky, otherwise I do those very ungraceful wobbles like a drunk person. I need to watch i don’t sprain both ankles! I used to joke and say that I wanted to wear white Doc Martins on my wedding day (well, it was the 90’s). I kind of wished that I had now.

I love looking at pretty shoes, and wedding shoes are no different. Wedding shoes can be really beautiful, and I love the trend of wearing coloured shoes for the big day. Lots of the weddings I have conducted, the brides have worn some stunningly colourful shoes.  Check out the weddings of Kate and Dan, or Suzy and Matt for examples of great shoes.

What about the idea of two pairs of wedding shoes? The high amazing shoes for the ceremony and the photos, then the cute and comfortable flat shoes for the rest of the day. This idea makes good sense, and gives brides the opportunity to have the best of both worlds if that is what she wants. Some brides have used heel savers or high heel protectors, which stop heels digging onto the grass when you are in a park. Some people have even started supplying them to their guests when they arrive at the ceremony in some outdoor weddings. Sometimes it is not just a park and grass that people have to contend with. I have conducted beach weddings where on the invitations the couple have suggested that shoes are optional.

But what about when it is impractical for high shoes to be worn? Do you still need those Jimmy Choo’s? What is a bride to do? Does convenience and safety come in to play? Or is it one time where you just have to wear the nicest shoes no matter what the conditions are?

Thank you to Love Journal Photography for the photos for the blog this week. Check out their website here or find them on facebook here.

Ring Warming

I have conducted a few weddings that have used a Ring Warming in their ceremony. It is a great way to get all of your guests involved. It is especially beautiful when you have a smallish wedding, not something that I would generally recommend for a very large wedding. A Ring Warming usually happens around the beginning of the ceremony as it takes a little bit of time. What happens is the wedding rings are passed around the guests, either in a small bag or box, or sometimes tied to a small ring cushion. All of the people present are asked to hold the rings and say a silent prayer, make a wish or silent blessing for your marriage.  I have also heard of larger weddings where the rings are only warmed by the wedding party and the close relatives, which is an option, but I personally think it is a lovely way to make everyone that is present on your special day feel a part of it all.

I wonder, however, if people worry about their rings being passed around to all of their guests? Not that they think anyone would steal them, but more worried about people getting distracted by other parts of the ceremony or possibly dropping them, which could create some problems depending on where the ceremony is being held.

A great way to elevate any fears about this is to have someone look after them as they are being passed around. It is a great job for someone who is special to you that you were not able to have in the bridal party, or one of your relatives that you wanted to have contribute to your ceremony. It is a great job if you have a ring barer that is a little bit older, as they can be trusted and usually take the role quite seriously but can help if they are at an age where some of the ceremony might bore them.

What do you think about ring warming? Would you consider it at your wedding? Or have you attended a wedding that did this where it worked or didn’t work?

Thank -you to  Love Journal Photography for the photos on the blog this week. Check out their website here or facebook page here.