Can people object at a wedding

I’m not sure why, but I’ve seen a couple of articles about people objecting at weddings lately.  It baffles me a little as I feel that objecting to weddings is such a movie thing. Do they ask in church services anymore? I haven’t been to too many church weddings in the last 10 years, so I’m not sure what the ‘standard’ thing to do there is. Movies! I blame movies! All these ‘romantic’ movies about someone sweeping in and objecting to the marriage because they are so in love with one of the people getting married. At the last minute they rush in and always stop the wedding or object as to why the wedding should be stopped.

I’ve had couples ask me if I will ask if anyone objects. No way! It’s not a requirement of the law, why would anyone ask it?  There are a couple of reasons that I don’t want to ask the question. Firstly, it’s awkward. It’s an odd question and how long do you pause for? Do you look around at all the people there? Do you rush through the pause and not wait long, like you almost expect someone to jump up or raise their hand? Absolutely not! I don’t want any of that added pressure that doesn’t need to be there.

Secondly, I don’t want to risk having to stop a wedding and not be able to proceed with a wedding. If someone actually objected it would be my obligation to look into it. Especially if it wasn’t as simple as an ex lover who was professing love. I don’t like the idea of having to stop a wedding. There are times that it has to be done, if someone clearly is drunk or under the influence of drugs. See my post about drinking on your wedding day. Again something really awkward to come back from. How does one bring your guests back from that? How does one explain that? It’s not really something that I really want to have to have a contingency plan for.

An article that I have recently read gave lots of examples for objecting. Half of them just read as movie scripts or stories that had been made up. The rest sounded like people really knew that their family or friends shouldn’t have been invited and they should have known that these people may have done something like that. Some other stories were about ‘jokes’. I love a good joke but to me a legal binding ceremony isn’t the place to play a practical joke on someone.

Do you think that its a relevant question anymore? Have you been to an actual wedding in the last 5- 10 years where the question has been asked?

Thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their photos. For more of their work reach out to them on Facebook.

Your ceremony, the legal words required

 

The wonderful thing about getting married by a celebrant is that you can have your day your way, (see another blog about that here). You should have your wedding reflect you. When I meet with people I spend a bit of time talking with them about the legalities that are involved with the ceremony. As far as your ceremony wording goes there are not too many things that you legally have to have.  As far as the law is concerned you have to have the monitum and you have to have vows. Thats it. Your wedding could be over and finished in a matter of minutes, but why would you want that. (but if you did, it is ok too)

You have to include the monitum. It is said by the celebrant and must be said for your marriage to be valid. It explains the marriage under Australian Law. It must be said before the legal vows.

The monitum is:

I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law.

Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.

Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.

You then have to share vows.  In these vows you must use your full name, as it appears on your birth certificate, or passport (If you have been married once before, you use the name that you have been using), you cannot use nicknames or an abbreviation of your name. The rest of the ceremony you can be referred to as whatever you are known as for example your name is Debra and you use Deb, you must say Debra in your vows, and the rest of the ceremony you may be referred to as Deb.

The vows that you have to include are:

I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband)

You can also choose to have personal vows as long as they do not contradict the legal vows. You can write your own, (see previous blog about it here). You can promise each other whatever you like, read song lyrics or copy vows from your favourite movie.

This is all that you legally have to have, no rings, no ‘do you take this man’, no ‘who gives this woman to be married to this man’. These are the only things that you MUST have. Rings are lovely, and there are lots of beautiful words that can be included when you are asking ‘do you take this man to be your husband/wife’. You can have lots of beautiful words that you can have your parents say to show their support for your marriage. Just remember though, all of that is up to you, how you want it and can all be tailored to you and your partner.

In saying that is all you have to have, most people want to have more than that and that is the beauty of it. Have things in it that are about you and your partner. Have readings, have warming of rings, have a candle ceremony, whatever you like. Make your day you. I say it often, but the best indication for me that a wedding is successful, (other than the Bride and Groom are happy) is when family and friends mention to me how much the ceremony suited the couple.

Have you been to a wedding that just suited the couple to a tee, or have you been to a wedding that was almost all legal wording? I’d love to hear about all the good and bad weddings you have experienced.

Thank-you to the team at Love Journal Photography for the use of their stunning images on the blog this week. Check out their website and follow them on facebook to see all their latest work.

 

Destination Weddings

There are so many things to think about with a destination wedding. I think that some people think it is a great way to avoid all of the stress of a planning a wedding and many people think it is going to cut down on the cost of their big day. It may be the case, but I don’t really think so.

I guess it depends too why you have chosen a destination wedding. Some people choose to have a destination wedding so that they don’t have to pay to have every person they know there, and an easy way to cut down your guest list. Perhaps consider eloping if you don’t want anyone there with you. However, there are going to people who still expect an invitation, and there will be some wondering why they are not invited, just like weddings in your home town. On the flip side you need to realise potential invitees to your destination wedding may not always be able to come and share your big day due to health or financial constraints. A destination wedding or elopement can be a wonderful wedding choice if you really don’t like being the centre of attention or speaking in public, or if who don’t like fuss. It is a great way to take the pressure off you both as a couple. However, be prepared to accept some of your friends and family may be disappointed that they were not part of your special day.

Some couples choose a destination wedding because it is a great way to start off a wonderful holiday and your honeymoon in an exotic, faraway place. It could also be a great way share it in part with family and/ or friends, especially if it is somewhere that you have both been before and really love, or somewhere that you both want to experience for the first time together.

Cost is a big factor. Some people seem to think that it is going to be a cheaper wedding alternative, but I don’t know this is always the case. It can be cheaper compared to a 150 guest sit down dinner at one of the top function centres, but not for example to simpler home catered options.

Paperwork such as passports and visas, and legal requirements are issues you need to take into consideration. Every country will have different laws about marriage, such as how long you have to be in the country before you can be married. If you decide on a country where resorts offer package deals, they may provide information, but you should still contact someone at the Australian Embassy and in  your country of choice and ask questions to ensure you abide by all legal requirements before your departure.

Something else that I didn’t really think about until I was discussing with my friend who had her wedding in New Zealand (check out the blog about it here) is that you need to take everything with you, or send it there in advance. She had to organise and transport the table decorations, gifts for the bridesmaids, and her dress. Luckily she did a couple of trips over there prior to the big day, but if this is not an option, you may want to think about this or find out what the venue can provide and what is specifically included in the package.  This can sometimes be a problem if you are the kind of bride or couple who have unique requirements and it may be difficult with a destination wedding to coordinate these things. It can sometimes become out of your control especially when you can’t visit the venue or speak to the event organiser in person. It may not be possible to have everything exactly as you have dreamed of and you may have to compromise.

Whatever your reason for a destination wedding there are pros and cons and lots of things that you need to consider. Did you have a destination wedding or were you considering one?

Thank you again to Untamed Images for the photos from this weeks blog, check out their website here, and go over and like them on their facebook page to keep updated with all of their photos.