Hens and Bucks

A large number of people that I speak to are not too fond of the ‘traditional’ Hens and Bucks nights. I don’t blame them. You have all heard stories about Bucks and Hens nights that have gone horribly wrong and this make everyone nervous. Grooms ending up on the other side of the state after being handcuffed to the inside a train. The Groom and best man having their eyebrows shaved off. Or even worse, breaking an arm or leg and being in plaster for the wedding day! All horror stories, but I’m sure that you all know at least one person who has been a part of a similar story.

Adult entertainment evenings make most people cringe. I have been invited to Hens party’s that have seemed so seedy, I would rather have scrubbed my shower with a toothbrush than attend! Not all Hens and Bucks need to be like this. In my opinion, this should be a time spent with your close friends before your big day. It should, like all things that go along with your wedding, reflect your personality. It should be something fun that will provide you with wonderful memories with your friends. It may be a winery tour, golf day, paint ball adventure, laser tag, day spa afternoon, a weekend in a beach house with spectacular views. It really doesn’t have to be something that makes your friends or partner cringe. It should be something that you want to do, but everyone can enjoy.

Do think about the people that you want there too. You may want to have a weekend at the beach house with the day spa as well. Keep in mind that not everyone that you invite can afford to do all of the things that you want to do. Make it easy for them to join in some of the activity so that they do not have to miss out if they cannot afford to do all the things that you are doing. Perhaps arrange a lovely dinner or brunch if some guests can only commit to some of the time required.  For example, If you are having a winery tour and people can’t make the whole thing, let them know which winery you are finishing at so they can meet you there for a meal.  Sometimes not everyone can walk the 18 holes of golf but may want to catch up for a beer and bbq in the evening.

Some people would also prefer not to make this time strictly a girls or guys time of the wedding celebrations. You can choose to have a day where you have all of your friends together doing something fun. It doesn’t have to be as structured as a traditional Bucks or Hens. Why not spend a day at the local bowls club, or hire a houseboat with a stack of your friends.

Do you have any suggestions or did you or one of your friends have a Hens or Bucks day that was just something different and fantastic fun?

Thanks again to Betty and Keith from Untamed Images for their stunning photos this week. Go to their website here and facebook here.

Thoughts on baby naming

One thing that has been on my mind of late after having my baby, is baby naming ceremonies. Should I have a naming ceremony? Should I have a christening? There are so many questions and so many things that need to be considered.

Being a Celebrant I love the idea of a Naming ceremony. You can include as many people as you want and have whatever you want incorporated into the service. It can be conducted anywhere you choose. So many positive things can be incorporated and you are not being restricted to having it in a church where you may be restricted on numbers or who can be a godparent, or mentor or whatever you choose to call them. Check out my previous blog about naming ceremonies here.

There are positives to having a baptism too, for me they are not so much about the ‘church’ part, but for schooling possibilities. Some schools require that the child is a baptised catholic to be accepted, though I don’t know if I agree that it this should be the only reason for going down that route. Sometimes you are told that you cannot have more than 2 godparents and most of the time at least one of them must also be a baptised catholic. I know that with our godson’s baptism they let him have 4 godparents but it was required that someone was a baptised catholic. (Lucky my husband went to catholic school!)

What I think is important and what most people don’t think about, is if you do have Godparents or mentors, and they are the people that you want to raise your children if something happens to you, you really need to think about putting these wishes into your will. Godparents aren’t just about looking after your children if something happens to you. But if your choice of Godparents are not the people that you want looking after your children, you really need to think about putting who you do into your will so that your wishes are known. It may seem like a morbid topic, but these are things that you never think about until you have children.

What do you think are pros and cons for a Naming Day compared with a Baptism?

Announcements on Social Media

One of my pet peeves is when other people don’t let couples or new parents make their own announcement on social media. Not only is it rude, some people don’t take into consideration if the couple want their news shared with the world just yet, …. or ever.

Whether it is an Engagement, Wedding or the Birth of a child, I personally think that it is something that only the couple or the parents have the right to announce.

If a couple have gotten engaged, and you find this out, don’t go straight to facebook. Call them and congratulate them or text them, if you have their number it is nicer and more personal. If you really need to use facebook and they haven’t announced it, send them a private message. There may be a very good reason that they haven’t announced it on social media and it makes it awkward for them if they have to explain it to some people that found out by viewing their page.

I have previously blogged about Social Media at your wedding, (you can read that blog here) and there are varied degrees about how much people want their wedding shared. I don’t think there is anything wrong with congratulating the couple, again once it is announced, but I always cringe when other people upload photos from the wedding before the couple do. Or don’t check with the couple first. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have conducted weddings where there was a ban on uploading to facebook. Another couple I conducted the wedding for over 2 years ago, still have none of their wedding photos on facebook to this day.

If you were lucky enough to find out via phone call, text or some other way, that a baby has been born, wonderful. Good for you! Just wait and let the people announce to others that their baby is born. Recently a lovely couple that I was lucky enough to marry, had their baby after much waiting past their due date. Every time I was on Facebook or instagram I would be looking for posts from them. I then saw a post from one of their friends, not only saying congratulations, (which if you really really have to just leave it at that) but announcing the name of the baby. I felt really annoyed. I wanted to hear it from the couple, and felt cross for them that they had something taken away from them. They went through it all, so I feel it is their news to tell.

I would have been more than angry if someone had announced that my son had been born, especially if they had announced his name to the world. It may seem trivial to some people but please, think before you post! Would you want someone posting this about you if it was your news or photos from your special day? Have you seen this on Social Media where someone has stolen someone else’s news? Has it happened to you?

Thank-you to Betty and Keith from Untamed Images, for the beautiful photos on this blog, go over and like them on facebook, they post lots of great wedding photos, or you can go to their website by clicking here.