Facebook and your Wedding

In the digital age there are only a few people who I know who don’t have Facebook, Twitter or some form of social media. There are a few things that can make a wedding process less problematic. Just by realising that as much as people love social media, not all of them are thrilled about hearing your big news at the same time that the person you went to primary school with and haven’t seen for 14 years does. It is a good idea to let your family and close friends know before you change your relationship status to engaged, or post photos of the ring.

It is also a good idea to be careful how much you tell people on Facebook. It is all well and good, to announce things that you are doing, but be mindful  if there are some people that will feel left out it might not be fair to have it flashing on their newsfeed. There might be people that want to be invited to the kitchen tea, hens or bucks nights that are not invited, and the photos of those  occasions might cause you to get some unwanted grief whether it is directly or indirectly. Maybe for these events it would be good to create a group so that the people who were at the event can view the photos.

Be sure to make it clear that people still need to RSVP. I might be old fashioned on this one, but facebook to me is not acceptable RSVP-ing and if you agree with me and think that people should send their RSVP card to you or call you, don’t be tempted to complain on facebook that people have not replied to you about the wedding. Call them and ask. It also rubs salt into the peoples wounds who thought that they would be invited and haven’t been. I have heard a story about a full family feud starting about this exact problem, where certain members of a family weren’t invited. When the bride had a facebook status about how rude it was that people had not responded to the invite those who were not invited made quite a public display of how unhappy they were that they were not invited.

Most of us like to put our exciting news and fun photos on facebook, but thinking ahead about who is in your friends list and who might see what you are posting might make an already crazy stressful time that little bit easier.  Its ensures avoiding some messages or explaining that you don’t really want to and shouldn’t have to do. It is your day after all and you should be able to have fun and invite and not invite those who you choose.

Changing your name?

An interesting question that most people will ask the bride at some stage close to or at the wedding, is if she is going to change her name. It is an intriguing topic and one that there is no rules that you have to stick to. The bride really has so many options, she can keep her own name, change to her husbands name, use both in whatever order, or hyphenate them together.

For various reasons some brides don’t want to give up their maiden name. She may be one of the last in her family that has that name and would like the name to carry on. Or it may be due to her career, for example a dear friend of mine kept her name for that reason. She was known on television using that name and had built quite a reputation with her maiden name. You can still use your husbands name for whatever you like, but have all of your identification in your maiden name. This kind of combination is perfectly legal, but can sometimes become confusing.

To change your name on your identification most places will require you to obtain your marriage certificate from Birth, Deaths and Marriages. The one that you are given on your wedding day will not do for most places, you can look up more information about this certificate through BDM here.

Some couples want to have a new name together, a name that they choose or a combination of their current names. There is nothing to say that you both can’t change your name and start a whole new ‘family’ name together.  With this option you would both have to apply for a change of name.

If you are going on an overseas honeymoon soon after the wedding it is probably best to still book the tickets in your maiden name. Or at least a name that is currently on your drivers licence or passport as you might not have time to change it until after the honeymoon. For more information about changing your name on your passport click here.

Just remember that changing your name is up to you, only you can make the decision on what you want it to be.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Back in the day, a bride only had female attendants and heaven forbid if a groom had a female friend. If a groom did in fact have a female friend, he would not dare have them in the wedding. Now days things are a bit different and it is perfectly ‘normal’ to have whomever you like in your bridal party. There are many people who are now opting for a mixed bridal party. I have recently been to a couple of weddings where there has been a mixed bridal party. My cousin included his sister as one of his attendants, which was really lovely, she had a different dress to the bridesmaids and it was really nice as they are very close friends as well as siblings. I suppose that some people may argue that she could have just been a bridesmaid, but I think it was great that she was on the grooms side. I also have a couple that I have just conducted the wedding of that included one of the grooms female best friends as one of  attendants. I don’t think that one of your best friends should be overlooked  just because they are of the opposite sex.

Couples are not always making their attendants wear all the same outfits too. It is fine if all of the attendants have the same body shape and all look good in the same outfit. This looks great, and I am in no way saying that people shouldn’t have that if that is what they want, but there are more and more brides that I come into contact with that are realising that their bridal party are sometimes very different people with very different body types and tastes. There are ways that you can work this into your day, and depending on the kind of wedding you want and the kind of person you are, there are a number of options that you have if you want your bridal party to have a little more input or control over what they wear. One option is picking a colour  buying a fabric and letting the attendants choose what they wear as long as it is in that colour, (with bride and groom approval of course). I have seen some great weddings where  this has been done and it looks better than I thought that it would. It works especially well when people are comfortable in what they are wearing. Confidence in how a bridesmaid or groomsman looks, comes across  in the way that they carry themselves and in the way they present themselves in photos. Another way that you can do this is to have something that is a common theme. For example it may be with a shawl, flowers, funky shoes for the boys or hairstyles of the girls.

Most couples choose their Bridesmaids and Groomsmen because they are people that they love and are close to their heart, not because they are all girls or guys, or all fit into a perfect size outfit. Most people are honoured to be asked to be in a wedding, but I’m sure that they would be glad that the bride and groom spent a little bit of time thinking about what they are wearing and if they will look good in it or be able to wear it again.

Thanks to Kirralee for the use of her stunning photos, check out her blog here

Beautiful Wedding Invitations

I have a wedding coming up in April that I’m sure is going to be very lovely. The couple, Karen and Jonny are going to get married on a little island in the middle of some beautiful gardens. I  was lucky enough to get one of the invitations. I find that it really helps when getting a feel for the wedding to see the invitations. I knew what to expect to an extent from spending time with them discussing things that they want included in the ceremony, but the invitations just took it to the next level for me.  I am sure that it helps that Karen is a graphic designer, but everything about the invitations is lovely. From the moment that I held the green sparkly envelope in my hand it felt special.

When I opened it up it looked so amazing that I almost didn’t want to open it. With the beautiful ribbon, fern and rafia, it just looked too special. I think that Karen has done a wonderful job building the excitement and expectation. It’s almost like you feel when you are waiting for the bride to arrive at a wedding. When it opens up, the invitation itself is written on warm vivid autumn colours. This is a colour scheme which we will see on the day around the lake and little island.  There is a great detailed card with all sorts of information about where to park, how to get there and what shoes that they suggest that you wear. They have also created a RSVP card, all matching I might add and a great map with lots of instructions. I have only gotten to know Karen through emails and the few times that we have met. But her exceptionally organised personality shines through in this wonderful wedding invitation. I can’t wait to see what they have got planned for the big day.

I am looking forward to going out to the venue for the rehearsal and seeing this beautiful location. I will make sure to post some photos when it all happens, so you are all able to see what I have been writing about.

If you are looking for some wedding stationary, you can always drop Karen an email on karen.elise.simmons@gmail.com

Sand Ceremonies with Children

A sand ceremony is perfect if the couple have children together already, or have children from a previous relationship. It is a great way for children to be involved in the ceremony, especially if there are a lot of children ranging in age.

Each child has a small vase sand, as do the bride and groom. There is a large vase that everyone pours their sand into to represent the family.You can have a different colour for each person or it can just be sand that has been collected prior to the wedding. If you are having a ceremony on the beach sand from that beach can be used.  The couple pour the sand into the vase and then the children pour their sand into the vase next. Words can be recited explaining how the foundation of the family will be the parents and that the children will have room to grow and thrive in the family. Which is linked back to the idea that there will be a foundation of love and acceptance that the parents promise to have in their family.

It is also a nice idea to choose a member of the extended family or a grandparent read a poem of play a song that holds a familiar significance to the family. It is a great way to  explain that the sand is now unable to be separated, in fact it would be impossible to do so.  It can then be kept for the family  as it is and displayed where all members of the family can see it or some of the mixed sand could be put into individual containers and presented to the children. If you want to take the concept even further you could also speak about the children being able to look at this if they ever feel alone, or just need to remember that no matter what happens they are all a family now and nothing can separate them.

There are so many ways that you can include children in your wedding ceremony, what ever you can imagine can be done.  With children, I think it is just so important to let them know that there is plenty of love to share, and that you and your partner love them too. The creative part is finding unique ways to represent this in your wedding ceremony.