Tag Archives: honeymoon

Signing Legal Paperwork on your wedding day

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There are quite a few legal documents that you have to sign when getting married.  On your wedding day you will be signing 3 documents during your wedding ceremony.  These 3 certificates need to be signed by the Bride and Groom. They each need to have a signature of one witness to the ceremony that is over the age of 18 and the celebrant (or minister/pastor/priest if in a church) needs to sign also.

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The first is one of the official certificates, that gets sent to Births, Deaths and Marriages in the state where your wedding is held, for registration purposes.  This certificate has documentation called ‘Declaration of no Impediment to marriage’, (blog about that coming soon) on the back that is previously signed by the couple before the wedding ceremony that confirms that there is no reason that they cannot be married.
The second is another official certificate that is kept by the authorised celebrant or church, it will usually be in a big book that all of their previous weddings are recorded in.

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The third is the ceremonial certificate that is kept by the couple. This is the pretty certificate. But unfortunately this cannot be used by the Bride to change her name, although I am told taking a copy with you on your honeymoon might help you get an upgrade to a fancier room. To change your name, you will have to get a copy of  your marriage certificate from Births, Deaths and Marriages. This process takes some time as the person who conducts your wedding has 14 days to register the marriage with Births, Deaths and Marriages. Then, Births, Deaths and Marriages can take a bit of time processing it. I generally recommend that couples wait around 6 weeks before applying for their official certificate from Births, Deaths and Marriages.

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One thing to remember for all brides on their wedding day is, no matter if you are changing your name after you are married or not. You need to sign all of your paperwork in your maiden name, or name that you currently use. You must sign in the same name.

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A big thank you to Love Journal photography for the use of their images on the blog this week. Check out their website and facebook, they have exciting things going on at their brand new studio. Check it out.

 

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Wishing well at your Wedding.

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I am reading a lot of articles at the moment about people who are having a wishing well at their wedding. More and more, people are having this tradition at their wedding. People are living together before they are married, a lot more than when our parents were married. A lot of these articles are saying that having a wishing well at your wedding is tacky. I don’t think that it needs to be. I agree to an extent, some of the wording that I have seen requesting this has been harsh and can come across all wrong. I have previously blogged about gifts on your wedding day.

I have received these tacky wishing well requests myself and some of them just have it so so wrong. However I have also read some that worked really well. I think you also still have to give your guests the option to bring a gift too. Some people just really love buying the gift. I think you have to trust these people and know that they will put thought into doing so and are buying a gift because that brings them pleasure to think about what you would like and get that for you. Then there are people that can’t be bothered and they will go for the cash option. It can be uncomfortable for some people too, some people would love to give more than they can and some people just simply cannot afford to give a lot and this can be stressful for them. I remember attending one wedding where people were asking how much they should put into the wishing well and were discussing how much the couple were paying per head. The feeling was that guests should be at least contributing that amount plus some. This made me a little sad. Don’t people invite people to their wedding the majority of the time because they want them to be there? (There will always be a couple of people that you just have to invite though!)  Not to make more than they spend?

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There are some lovely poem ideas out there, or I recently saw a couple that suggested that people buy them vouchers from certain stores so they could afford a few appliances that they normally couldn’t justify buying. This is a lovely way for people to feel like they are not just giving cash and at the same time the couple can choose what they want. I have also heard of travel agents that you can set up for your honeymoon and guests can put money towards travel.

Also remember that there are a lot of cultures where this is nothing new, it’s just the way that they have been doing things forever. They give it in cards, envelopes, pin it to the brides dress, they give money in all sorts of ways. This is the way that it is done traditionally. If you are going to a wedding and this is the way that the families have done it for generations it is nice to think about going with their traditions too.

How do you feel about a wishing well at a wedding?

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Thank you again to the wonderful Betty and Keith at Untamed Images, for the use of their images again this  week. Check out their website here and their facebook page to see some more of their stunning work.

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Deciding on changing your name

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There are lots of things to consider when deciding if you will change your name once you are married. There are many pros and cons to doing so too.

Changing your name can be a little bit of hard work, and takes some time, you can’t just do it the day after the wedding. It is a long process and can’t usually be started until around 6 weeks after your wedding, as you have to wait for Births, Deaths and Marriages to process all of the forms. A copy of your marriage certificate also needs to be obtained (unfortunately the one that you get at the wedding can’t be used to change your name anywhere anymore.) Don’t book your honeymoon in your married name either as this can cause all sorts of problems. I’ve blogged previously about how you go about changing your name, you can read it here. Some institutions make it difficult if you want to change your name, it felt like it took me months to change my name on all sorts of official things.

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Then there is the part of your name that is you. The you that you have identified with your whole life. There are all sorts of reasons that someone may want to keep their name, your profession or you may have built a reputation on the name that you currently have. Especially if you are an artist or journalist or something along those lines. It may be a reason that you want to keep your name. (Remember there is nothing to stop you changing your name and using your maiden name for just your career.) Some people may want to keep their maiden name because no one else is able to carry on the name. The reasons are endless.

One thing that is tricky is if you have children from a previous relationship, things can become interesting when they are at school or they have friends come over. I remember being called to the office by my mum’s new married name after she was remarried. I also remember people coming to my house and calling my mum by her previous married name. It caused problems when there were documents going home from school and confusion for friends who came over when I had to tell them that her name was different to mine.

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I always wanted to have the same name as my kids and I don’t know if having a different surname to my mum for a lot of years has anything to do with that, but I have always thought that having the same surname as the rest of your family was nice. I never really liked the idea of a hyphenated name. I also know of couples where the bride and groom both decided that they would both change their name and start a new family name. Which is something to consider too.

There are so many options when deciding if you want to change your name, again it’s something that only you can decide.  What do you think about changing your name? Would you consider hyphenating your name or making up a new family name?

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Thank-you to the Love Journal for the photos on this weeks blog. Check out their website here and their facebook page here.

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Common wedding regrets

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Are there things that you regret not doing or having on your special day? I thought I would put this post together for those who are getting married, to think about. Also for those who are married, so that they know they are not the only ones who have regrets about their wedding days.

There are lots of things that you need to consider when planning your wedding and lots of  decisions that have to be made, compromises and priorities have to be worked out. There are so many people that need to be considered in the decision making process too; take your time and make sure that you think everything through. Not everything will be the right decision every time, but do make sure you give them due thought.

Also there is a big difference between things that you regret and things that you would do differently after a number of years. There are a lot of things that I would do a little differently (hairstyles, music, guest lists) but there are not a lot of things that I really regret. So don’t get too stressed out about things that you might regret, but keep some of other people’s regrets in mind and it might just help you avoid regrets of your own and only have things you wished you did a little differently.

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Some of the common things  that  I hear from people and the feedback that I received on my facebook page, (click here to go to my facebook page.) and people messaged me about were these:

Regret #1: Inviting people that you really don’t want there.

This is a really special day, and in most cases an intimate, lovely, loving moment that you and your partner are sharing. You’re pouring out your heart and making promises to one another, it makes sense that you would only have the people that are nearest and dearest to you there to witness this right? Well, maybe not.  You will have all those really special and wonderful people there, but then there are always people that you feel like you have to invite, or all of the people that your families want you to invite. The list sometimes includes people that you feel that you have to invite, if you invite W&X then Y&Z really have to come, as they are part of the same friends circle. Or you can’t invite only 3 out of your 5 cousins. It can be a problem and it can create tension between you, as the couple getting married and family members and friends.(and sometimes between you and your partner!).

So what do you do? This is something that you as a couple have to decide, depending on how strongly you feel about this. I personally didn’t have too many people that I didn’t want at my wedding. This did cause some fights with people and I did have one relative call me and tell me that I  shouldn’t have the wedding I wanted because they wanted to share my special day. Funnily enough, I told them they could come to the church and a BBQ the next day if they wanted to be there, but no, they wouldn’t come if they couldn’t go to the reception. There are always people that you wished you had invited, but at the time we invited all the close and important people in our lives. We also chose a venue that was limited to 50 people, that way there wasn’t any room to move on numbers, no last minute feeling bad and adding extras to the list. Of course there were some people that missed out, that I would have liked there, but I was also very adamant that I wanted a quality wedding rather than a quantity wedding. I wanted it to be wonderful and special rather than serve yourself wedding in a tin shed, or a bring a plate wedding. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this style of wedding, it just wasn’t my dream wedding.

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Regret #2: Not going on your honeymoon soon after your wedding.

A few people have messaged me about this point. Some people choose to delay their honeymoon for various reasons and it is a very personal choice, I have blogged previously about honeymoon decisions, you can read that blog here. Sometimes financial and work obligations make going on a honeymoon straight away impossible for some people, but some of those I spoke to said that when you wait too long to go on your honeymoon, it just feels like a holiday and is separated too much from the wedding itself. Some of them suggested that if you are going to have your long honeymoon trip later down the track, maybe just have a few days away somewhere and enjoy just spending some time alone, and winding down from all that is involved with  making your day one of the best of your lives. It is nice to be able to go back and talk about all of the wonderful things that happened on the day, and realise that it’s not often that you get to have all the people in your life that mean the most to you all in one place at one time.  I have heard of couples getting married on a Saturday and then returning to work on the Monday and feeling quite let down and that it took a lot of the loveliness away from the wedding day.

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Regret #3: Doing too much DYI.

DYI is great! IF you love it and IF you are good at it. It can save you money and it can add a lovely personal touch to your day. But this can cause more trouble than it is worth, sometimes the money that you thought that you would save can end up back firing on you or costing you more in time and sanity than it is worth. Sometimes countless hours on the computer and time spent on getting the invitations right, plus ink, plus posting odd sized envelopes can outweigh ordering them online.

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Regret #4: Having family members or friends do things that you should pay someone for.

This is another part of the DYI thing, having your Nanna make all the bridesmaids dresses, and they turn out a certain way, it can be frustrating and difficult to bring this up, if it’s not what you had envisioned or planned. What if the person is normally wonderful, but is having a bad day? Just because someone is a fantastic landscape photographer, it doesn’t mean that they will do your wedding photography justice. (Sorry to all of you who read my blog each week, but you know how I feel about how important wedding photos are, or you can check previous blogs about this here and here.).

There are ways around it if your friends or family are over zealous about helping out, you can tell them that you would rather they just relax and enjoy the day, than put that stress onto them. Or beat them to it, and bring up the issue with them before they can tell you that they expect to be able to make the cake for you. Sometimes it really is best to pay professionals for certain parts of the wedding day. Sometimes the cost outweighs the headache and potential family feuds.

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Regret #5: Choosing the dress too early.

This can be a real issue for some of those brides that are super organised and choose their dress as soon as they are engaged; remember,  that styles change, your tastes change and your body shape can change.  Unless it is the dream dress that you have had in your mind since you were 7 years old, try on a lot of different styles and some that you might not normally wear to see what looks the best. I personally wouldn’t be looking into getting the dress until your reception centre is booked and the ball is rolling on all the other parts of the wedding.

Is there anything else that you can think of that you or someone close to you regrets about their wedding day?

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Thanks to the guys at Vision House Photography for the photos from this weeks blog, check out their website and their facebook page too!

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Post wedding day blues

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Once all of the excitement of your wedding day is over – often it can be very difficult to settle in. You have had your big day and it was one of the greatest experiences of your life thus far, it can be hard to accept the big day is over – all of the planning and stress is no more.  There are no more dates set in the calendar, no more bridal showers or hens days – this can often be a little disheartening.

There are quite a few things you can do to keep yourself busy and help keep those lovely memories from your special day alive.

Thank you cards

This is a job that should be done close to the wedding date, it is a good gesture and is easily done earlier rather than later, while you can still remember who gave you what gift. It’s good to write a custom letter to each person, whether is it about a gift given or a lovely moment you shared at the wedding, rather than just a generic message. This can be time consuming but enjoying resurfacing beautiful memories of your wedding day.

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Save the cake

Saving the cake is a old tradition from when couples got married to have children and the cake could be used around the couples first anniversary when the child was to be christened, the tradition is still popular for different reasons. However with the wide variety of cakes today, you need to be aware not all cakes or top tiers will freeze well. It is something you will need to research before committing to.

Preserve your dress

You have spent a considerable amount of time and money on your wedding dress, you may want to do some research into having your dress professionally cleaned and then decide if you are going to store it away, or possibly sell it. This is totally up to you; depending on how sentimental you are or if you think you may never wear it again and want to make some money back while it is still in fashion.

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Keep your Bouquet

This is something a lot of people don’t really think about, and again it depends if you have a floral bouquet (you can read my blogs about bouquets here). You may decide to research the different options on preserving your bouquet. If you choose to have flowers you can have them dried, pressed, or freeze dried. These things vary in cost and some of them you can do yourself. You may decide to frame them – I have heard lately of people framing them with your wedding certificate or with all the beautiful good luck keepsakes.

Wedding Album

This might take a little while to come to you and may depend on your photographer and package you have purchased – this is an exciting prospect. Whether you go to the studio and work out an album with your photographer, or you get the digital files and spend time designing your own album. It can be a challenging and time consuming project, but something that is worth the time. Those of you who read my blog regularly will know how strongly I feel about great photos and these being some of the best memories, I think this is time well invested and I don’t know of anyone who has put time into a wedding album and been disappointed with the result.

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Memory scrap book

It may take time for you to get your photos back from your photographer, some take a while and some seem to get them to you quite quickly, in the meantime you might want to get photos from your friends and family, and get bits and pieces from the ceremony. I did this as I wanted to have something to share with people and I knew it would take a while to get the final album from the photographer (there wasn’t the joy of digital photography back then, nor could I have a great instagram hashtag for people to check out photos from the day) so I used things like the order of service booklet, menus from the tables and photos from family and friends with different perspectives of our special day.

Sell off the things you no longer need

This can be a great way to keep busy and work out what things you want to keep and what you can live without. Especially if you have spent a lot of money on table decorations, you could sell it on eBay, or Gumtree, as a set or you could split it up and sell them separately.

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Start to plan something new

Depending whether you went straight on your honeymoon or not you might like to plan a holiday or honeymoon (you can read about Honeymoon decisions I previously blogged about here). Otherwise you might want to plan a girls or boys weekend away or a weekend away with your husband or a bit of a reunion weekend with some friends you didn’t feel you spent enough time with since your wedding.  A big dinner party is a great alternative or something else you can enjoy with your friends and family.

Do you have any great post-wedding tips for people who feel a little ‘lost’ after their big day?

A big thank-you to Kirralee for the use of her lovely photos, check out the link to the blog about this wedding here.

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Destination Weddings

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There are so many things to think about with a destination wedding. I think that some people think it is a great way to avoid all of the stress of a planning a wedding and many people think it is going to cut down on the cost of their big day. It may be the case, but I don’t really think so.

I guess it depends too why you have chosen a destination wedding. Some people choose to have a destination wedding so that they don’t have to pay to have every person they know there, and an easy way to cut down your guest list. Perhaps consider eloping if you don’t want anyone there with you. However, there are going to people who still expect an invitation, and there will be some wondering why they are not invited, just like weddings in your home town. On the flip side you need to realise potential invitees to your destination wedding may not always be able to come and share your big day due to health or financial constraints. A destination wedding or elopement can be a wonderful wedding choice if you really don’t like being the centre of attention or speaking in public, or if who don’t like fuss. It is a great way to take the pressure off you both as a couple. However, be prepared to accept some of your friends and family may be disappointed that they were not part of your special day.

Some couples choose a destination wedding because it is a great way to start off a wonderful holiday and your honeymoon in an exotic, faraway place. It could also be a great way share it in part with family and/ or friends, especially if it is somewhere that you have both been before and really love, or somewhere that you both want to experience for the first time together.

Cost is a big factor. Some people seem to think that it is going to be a cheaper wedding alternative, but I don’t know this is always the case. It can be cheaper compared to a 150 guest sit down dinner at one of the top function centres, but not for example to simpler home catered options.

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Paperwork such as passports and visas, and legal requirements are issues you need to take into consideration. Every country will have different laws about marriage, such as how long you have to be in the country before you can be married. If you decide on a country where resorts offer package deals, they may provide information, but you should still contact someone at the Australian Embassy and in  your country of choice and ask questions to ensure you abide by all legal requirements before your departure.

Something else that I didn’t really think about until I was discussing with my friend who had her wedding in New Zealand (check out the blog about it here) is that you need to take everything with you, or send it there in advance. She had to organise and transport the table decorations, gifts for the bridesmaids, and her dress. Luckily she did a couple of trips over there prior to the big day, but if this is not an option, you may want to think about this or find out what the venue can provide and what is specifically included in the package.  This can sometimes be a problem if you are the kind of bride or couple who have unique requirements and it may be difficult with a destination wedding to coordinate these things. It can sometimes become out of your control especially when you can’t visit the venue or speak to the event organiser in person. It may not be possible to have everything exactly as you have dreamed of and you may have to compromise.

Whatever your reason for a destination wedding there are pros and cons and lots of things that you need to consider. Did you have a destination wedding or were you considering one?

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Thank you again to Untamed Images for the photos from this weeks blog, check out their website here, and go over and like them on their facebook page to keep updated with all of their photos.

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