Is your wedding day the most important of your life?

 

Is your wedding day the most important of day of your life? You hear that it is a lot. People talking about ‘the big day’ and ‘the best day of your life’ and all of these pressure filled statements. But is it? Should it be?

I say No.

Surprising as it may be that as a celebrant, someone who should be wanting people to have weddings and get married, I don’t think that it should be the most important day of your life. It may seem when planning it that it is, but it shouldn’t be. Don’t for one moment think that I am saying that you shouldn’t want to have a wedding, or that you shouldn’t get married. I’m just saying that it’s not just about the ‘wedding’ and the one day.
It is without a doubt a wonderful day and you will look back on it as one of the most fantastic and beautiful days of your life. It is special and amazing with all of the people that you love are around you witnessing you make promises to the person that you love most in the world.

It is not the most important day of your life though. It will be over in the blink of an eye. All of the time, money and hard work that you put into planning your day will pay off I’m sure, but the wedding day isn’t the most important part. Your ‘marriage’ is the most important part. Your marriage isn’t defined by the day. The success of your marriage isn’t about the dress, or the food or the flowers or that amazing arbour or the 3, 5 or 26 attendants that you had. It’s about the two of you and the time that has come before ‘the big day’ and the years that follow that ‘best day of your life’

It’s about the person that you have chosen to stick with, through whatever your lives will bring. It’s the person that you promise to ride the storms with and through good times and bad and you will both give it your best go. It’s when life can’t be 50/50 all the time, that you will be willing to carry that 80/20, and the person that you appreciate when they do they 80% and all you have in you is the 20%. These are the most important days of your life the ones that you grit your teeth through, so that when you have more of these amazing days, when you see each other and your family and friends succeed that you can appreciate the wonderful times and smile knowingly at each other that you get to share those moments.
Try to remember this when planning the ‘big day’. Things will happen and things will go wrong on your wedding day, just as they do if real life and things won’t always end up as you envisioned them to be. But have your wedding so that you are grateful that you picked the right person to be by your side whatever happens and whatever comes your way that you will be in it all together.

A big thank you to Kirralee for the use of her photos on this blog, you can follow her work or find her on facebook here.

Not walking down the aisle

Some people don’t like the idea of walking down the aisle. I’ve previously blogged about walking down the aisle, and timing when walking down the aisle and have some ideas there about what you different things you can have.  What can you do if you really don’t want to walk down the aisle? Some people don’t like the idea of walking down in front of all of those people, or having all of the attention on them at that time. Some people don’t like the idea of being ‘given away’ or have to decide who they would ask to do that for them.

Some venues don’t have a traditional aisle and you don’t necessarily need to walk down one. Other times you just simply don’t want to. There is no rule to this obviously so you can really do whatever you like. Other than big grand gestures like arriving at your wedding in a helicopter or being jet skied to the ceremony spot, there are so many ways you can get to the ceremony spot. I have conducted a few weddings where the bride has arrived to the ceremony in a boat, but on those occasions they still walked down an aisle as such.

One option is, depending on the venue, is to have both the bride and groom arrive together, this is a great idea if you want to have your photos taken before the ceremony or decide on a first look photo shoot. You could enter together down the aisle or some venues have a side door that you could come through together once all of your guests are seated and ready. This is a great alternative if you don’t like everyone looking at you, or you’re just not that keen on it being all about the bride, or that the normal wedding traditions are not really your thing.

You could decide to both be at the venue and greet your guests as they arrive if you don’t like the idea of a grand entrance.  This could be a lot less pressure but you would also want to make sure that you allowed time before the actual start of the ceremony. You could set the time so that you had time before the ceremony for people to mingle and if you wanted you could even have some drinks and canapes before,  obviously this would depend on the venue and always be mindful to the  the fact that people might be a little less likely to like being round up for the actual ceremony once the ‘celebration’ side of the wedding starts. This is a lovely casual way to begin the ceremony and takes the pressure off. It is certainly for people who want to break with tradition and aren’t too fussy about the day going to a well planned schedule. That being said people know why they are there and there are ways to give people the message that the ceremony is about to begin.

 

You could be at the ceremony site and let the guests enter, so keep them out of the area or venue until you are ready for them all to be ushered into the space. This way you can have photos taken in the space or just make sure that you are ready to begin, this might not work so well if you are outdoors in a park as people will not be kept away as well as if you have your ceremony in a little chapel and keep the doors closed until you are ready to let them in for the ceremony. This could be really lovely and a great way to make sure that everyone is ready to go. A lovely way to spend some time with your bridal party, especially if you are going to all be inside for a while waiting for all of the guests to arrive and you don’t want to be seen by any of them.

Did you enter your wedding in a creative way or have you been to a wedding that had a wonderful alternative to walking down the aisle?

Thank you to Kirralee for the use of her images on this blog, check out more of her work here or find her facebook page by clicking here.

 

Leah and Mark

Some things are just meant to be and you are certain about them from the beginning. They are your destiny, what is written in the stars, your inescapable fate.  Leah and Marks marriage was just one of those certainties. Some things just go together, and there is nothing that would suit them better. It’s fate, a done deal. Mark and Leah have been a couple forever, well almost. They met when they were just 14 and 16. They began this wonderful love, wagging school and talking on myspace.

When they first met Leah thought that Mark was cute and shy, although she thought that with his hair to his shoulders that he needed a bit of a haircut. Mark thought that Leah was gorgeous straight away and could tell that she was a happy and caring person.Leah knew when she was 14 that Mark was the man that she was going to marry, of course she didn’t tell him that straight away, as much as she may have started planning  in her mind, there was no way that she was going to tell him that then and possibly scare him off.  Although he still gives her those same butterflies that he did then, after all these years.

I loved that when I asked Mark and Leah when they knew they were in love the answer was just so true. They both knew that they loved each other when they started out in their relationship as 14 and 16 year olds, but they are aware that their relationship grew within that love. Growing together has just made their love for one another that much stronger. They just love being in one another’s company, it doesn’t matter if it is spending time with their family and friends, on holiday, on a much loved cruise or just spending time at home with their fur babies.

Leah and Mark were married on the most perfect May day, the sun was out and it was the a beautiful day. You couldn’t have ordered much better weather. Their ceremony was held at BJ’s on Varney in Traralgon. Which is a beautiful private gardens that can be hired out for wedding ceremonies, it has a beautiful Balinese feel to it. It is a stunning and very well managed venue. One truly special thing for Leah and Mark is that they were married on Leah’s Oma and Opa’s 50th wedding anniversary. During the ceremony, we mentioned what a wonderful special day that it was and what a great example of marriage that they provided for Leah and Mark. The love that you can still see when they look at each other is just beautiful. They witnessed Leah and Marks official paperwork, which was a beautiful touch and a wonderful way for them to be honoured during the ceremony.

If anyone spends anytime with Leah and Mark it is obvious how in love that they are, and they really do compliment each other perfectly, as much as some of the family joke that they wonder how Mark puts up with Leah being so bossy, they really do level each other out. Leah said that one of the things that she loves most about Mark is how chilled he is. She said “I am a complete control freak and he brings me back to being calm when I go on a rant”. Mark loves that Leah is so organised and always knows what she wants. He loves how no matter how busy her schedule is she will always find time to help others in need. These things make them laugh too. Sometimes Mark laughs at Leah about how obsessed she is with cleaning the floors and how she cracks it over one little bit of fluff. Leah’s attention to detail helps though when it comes to making Marks sandwiches as he likes to have the sandwich crusts perfectly together. They do have things that they get frustrated with each other about, Mark has the uncanny ability to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and he can be snoring moments after he goes to bed. Leah wonders if he even has thoughts! Mark thinks that Leah uses too much glad wrap on his lunch and has the music too loud in the car!

It was just the most beautiful day, Leah is one of the most organised people that I have met and you could tell at the wedding, the attention to detail was just stunning. They had 16 people in their bridal party, (they all looked amazing, I especially loved the black bridesmaids dresses) and they were all on time and all knew exactly what to do and what was expected of them. I’m lucky enough to have conducted Leah’s sister Aimee’s wedding and Leah’s Uncle Dan’s wedding and have conducted the naming ceremony for Leah’s cousin Astrid, and have been given the title of the family celebrant, (which I love). It is really special for me to be able to keep catching up with all of the family and seeing the family grow. I’m lucky to be involved in all these wonderful ceremonies in such a beautiful and loving family, the love that these guys share is fantastic, you can see it in the sisters, all the way to the wonderful grandparents who shared their special day with Leah and Mark. I’m looking forward to the next ceremony that comes up in the lives of these wonderful people and will be there with bells on!!!

Thanks to Bride2be photography for the use of their beautiful photos, check out their website here or their facebook page here. If you would like to see more about the venue you can look at their facebook page here.

 

Wishing Well Warning

I have recently heard some horrific stories. Stories of couples who have had a wishing well or a birdcage at their wedding and have had some of their gifts (cards with money in them) go missing.

It’s not something that you want to think about, but I know of wedding where the bride knew that there were people that had left cards and when she got home those cards were not in the wishing well. You don’t want to think that there are people attending your wedding, or staff at the venue that you have chosen, who would do this but someone had taken those cards and the money that was intended for the couple.

No matter what I have heard on the topic of wishing wells (its a different blog about wishing wells and should or shouldn’t people have one), it’s not just the money, but the words that loved ones have left for people that are stolen as well .

There are things that you can do to ensure that this doesn’t happen to you.

• Keep the wishing well, or birdcage, or treasure chest locked. Obviously making it look like it is part of the design, or ensure that it has a lock that doesn’t look like you think people are going to run off with it. Most people wouldn’t think of it. If you are doing this also make sure that your wishing well isn’t so light that someone could just wander off with it.

• Keep it in plain sight and somewhere that it has people around it all the time, not off in a quiet part of the venue, especially if you have a suitcase for people to put money into for a trip or something similar, or something else that would look equally silly with a lock on it.

• Speak to your venue and the person at the venue that will be looking after your day. It would be less likely to be something that they don’t take notice of if you have made a point of mentioning it to them. They will certainly pay more attention to people ‘lurking’ around if you have mentioned it to them before.

• Change the way that you have your wishing well. Have a bank account set up or have your honeymoon registered at a travel agent where guests can put money towards your trip.

• Having a wishing well attendant or someone who is in charge of keeping an eye on the well throughout the evening. Or perhaps place it at the wedding table itself so that attendants and members of the bridal party are near enough to the wishing well that any prospective thieves would be put off by the amount of people around it.

Has this happened to anyone that you know or do you have any other suggestions of ways that people can make their wishing wells safer? A big thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their photos on this blog. You can see more of their work on their website or check them out on Facebook by clicking here.

 

Floral crowns

Floral crowns are quite popular at the moment. They can be a stunning touch to a brides outfit or a wonderful way to style your bridesmaids.
These can be fresh or they can be made from silk flowers and they make a lovely keepsake. They can be  worn with or without a veil, and can be as small or as large as you wish.

They can be a way to dress up your outfit and they can be a great way to add colour or keep a colour flowing through your bridal party. I recently saw a bridal party where all of the bridesmaids had different outfits but they all carried the same bouquet and all wore the same floral crowns.

Depending on how crafty you are, and if you were having fresh or silk flowers, this could be something that you and your bridal party could do together. Be mindful though that if you are using fresh flowers, they will need to be made close to the time of the wedding and could create more stress if you are running short of time.

Have you seen a floral crown that you thought was awesome, or any tips for others about the best flowers to use?

All images from Pinterest and my dear friend Kelly on her wedding day!

 

Cindy and Shane

 

Cindy and Shane were married on a lovely Saturday in April. It was a stunning day at the beautiful Mrs Nicks Vineyard and the reception followed at the amazing Barn and Co conveniently on the Mrs Nicks Vineyard property. They were married under the beautiful love tree near the front of the vineyard.

I have known Cindy for almost 2 decades so for me it was a very lovely and emotional day. I always love making people married. It is really an amazing moment when you can help your old friend marry the person that she has found true love with. It really is a wonderful thing to be able to help them exchange vows. It was so lovely to see a lot of Cindy’s family whom I have watched grow over the years. I remember Cindy’s sister’s wedding when I photographed one of Cindy’s nieces  running across a courtyard as a small 8 or 9 year old and now here she is, a lovely and beautiful adult.

Shane and Cindy met through Cindy’s work. They were friends for some time until came the moments when they each realised that love had blossomed. Shane and Cindy started this wonderful love that they share by making a commitment to one another to always be honest and give the other their all…… and that is what they have done every day since.

When I asked them about their first impressions of each other were, Cindy told me that she got butterflies when Shane spoke to her and Shane immediately fell in love with Cindy’s eyes. They amazed him.

They have adapted to the idiosyncrasies of the other and found ways to grow together and compromise. Shane’s always being right and maybe just a little bit stubborn, arguing his point while Cindy and the girls just look at each other.  Cindy is bossy, always directing what should be done and only for the best and protection of Shane and the girls, for example the time when they were watching the LUNAR eclipse and Cindy wanted them to all put on sunglasses to protect their eyes from being damaged .

Shane knew that Cindy understood from the very beginning that it was not only him but also 2 children that she would be joining and that the decision to join their family was not taken lightly. The respect and love she has shown each one of them from the beginning is something that he is grateful for, adores and respects, as there is now not only the unbreakable bond between the two of them, but the bond with Chelsea and Rachel.

Cindy loves Shane’s strength and unwavering loyalty. She saw from the beginning the devotion Shane had to his children and that there was not one moment in their lives that he was ever going to miss, he is always there to stand strong for his family. Cindy knows as long as each day ends with the two of them together she can face anything!

One beautiful thing that Shane and Cindy mentioned and is really obvious to anyone who spends time with them, is their commitment to being a team. To having each other’s back. That no matter what is going on in their lives, they will always be on the others side. That through tough times, they don’t battle anything alone. They huddle together to weather the storm.

Their wedding was beautiful and had so many beautiful personal touches. Cindy had her sister as her matron of honour and her 2 nieces and step daughters in her bridal party and they all looked simply stunning in their beautiful blue dresses. There were so many candles and it was such a stunning set up in the Barn and Co restaurant area. They had about 70 guests and there was still plenty of room for a dance floor.

One of my favorite moments of the night was when Cindy and her Dad had the father and daughter dance. Cindy’s dad is a lovely and quiet man. Watching him dance with Cindy and sing the beautiful song to his daughter was just breathtaking and there were a lot of people who had a little tear in there eye watching the beautiful moment. I must say although I am really not good at it I love the greek dancing and the dance floor was the fullest it could be when the Zorba was on.

It was a wonderful day spent with fantastic friends. I do know how lucky I am to be be able to play such an important role in one of the best days in people’s lives. I realise it more so when it is someone that I have known for such a long time and get to make them husband and wife. Not only did I get to catch up with family of one of my oldest friends but I also met and spent time with lovely new people on Shane’s side of the family, people that have been key people in his life for years and his beautiful daughters.

A big thank you to Rochelle for the use of her photos on the blog. Check out her website here or find her on facebook by clicking here.

 

Facebook Group for your bridal party

My friend is getting married soon and she has used Facebook for he planning process in a very smart way. I have blogged about her save the dates and her Bridal shower gift with a difference. I’ve been lucky enough to be included in the group and have had a great time watching the way that all of the bridal party are interacting and giving input in a way that without this page would probably take a lot of meeting up or a lot of phone calls and texts.

All of the bridesmaids and important wedding related people in the life of the bride have been added to the group. Its a closed group so only people involved can see, so that all important information that they don’t want ‘getting out’ is kept within the group. It has made it easy for them to talk about dress styles, catch up dates and when they see a pair of shoes that they are looking at they can take a photo and share it quickly with everyone.

They have had photos from them trying on dresses to lovely lunches that they have had and is a great way for them to have all of that in one spot without other people getting jealous or feeling like they have been left out of something as only the people within the group can see it.

Its a great way to have people quickly see something or get an opinion really quickly and its free, no costs for texts or phone calls (only the data usage) especially if you have some people in your bridal party who don’t know each other or wouldn’t have their phone number too.

Have you done something like this? Or any other suggestions that would help other Brides and attendants on their wedding planning journey?

A big thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their photos on the blog this week. You can see more of their work on their website or check them out on Facebook by clicking here.

 

Getting ready for your wedding together

For a long time now tradition has been that the Bride and Groom don’t see each other until they reach the ceremony site and are about to be married. Over the years there have been a few new ideas implying that this isn’t the way that it has to be. For example there are ‘first look’ photo shoots. Some people now choose to have their formal portraits done before the ceremony so that they don’t have to go off and have their photos taken between the ceremony and the reception. Sometimes Love letters before the ceremony also have the couple seeing each other before the ceremony takes place.

Some couples are now deciding that they will get ready together, not worry about tradition, and just get ready at the same venue. Alternatively getting ready where they will be staying that night, so there is no dragging bags from one place to another.
There are good and bad points for this, I think. One of the bad things would be that you miss out on that lovely time that you get to spend with the bridesmaids and groomsmen if you are having them. Some of the weddings that I have been involved in, where I have been a part of the bridal party or spending time with the bride before hand when she is getting ready, is always a lovely and fun experience. Getting make up done, eating fruit platters and generally enjoying each others company until the ceremony.

Maybe getting ready in your family home was important, you could always both get ready there and have photos taken around your family home especially if your partners family were not close by.
Another popular idea is having a house near or at the wedding location so that all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen can all get ready with you. This way you get the best of both worlds. It could be a great way to have all of the photos done before the wedding ceremony so that you don’t have to have all the between time where you go off and be photographed. You can just have fun and socialise with your guests.

Some people also feel that it is just such a big day, they know they will feel really nervous and overwhelmed that they just want to get ready with their partner. They know that they are going to be spending a large portion of the day with other people they just want some relaxing quality time with the person that the day is really all about.

A huge thank you to Love Journal Photography for the brilliant photos on the blog this week. Check out more of their work here. Or check out their facebook page here.

Why I became a celebrant

I have been asked on a number of occasions, why I became a celebrant. The main reason is that I was inspired, and not so much in a good way. I love a good wedding, (who doesn’t really?) and I have a degree in Photography, but wedding photography wasn’t really my passion. I love photography and I love a wedding but that was it. I didn’t like all of the things that go along with being a wedding photographer and lets be honest, it takes a love and an art to be a great wedding photographer, not every brilliant photographer is even a good wedding photographer. But I digress, back to the topic.

I attended a wedding ceremony, and it was… I don’t want to say terrible, or horrific, or as one person said “the worst wedding I’ve ever been to”… But it had potential to be lovely, and it just wasn’t. It wasn’t the couples fault. There were things that clearly they didn’t think of or that the celebrant hadn’t  mentioned. I’m not too sure what the celebrant had to say either it may have been really nice things, but it wasn’t memorable and I couldn’t hear all of it.

Firstly, the celebrant arrived early as any good celebrant should. They set up a table away from where the ceremony was being held and just waited. There had been no wedding rehearsal.  ( I know this as someone close to me was in the bridal party) the celebrant had the perfect opportunity then to tell the Groom and Groomsmen what would be happening, where they would need to go for the signing of the register, but none of this occurred. They just stood there.

The ceremony was in an area that was open to the general public, and it was a hot hot hot, stupid hot day. The celebrant didn’t speak to any of the people in the area and tell them that there was going to be a wedding taking place or to ask them if they would mind just staying out of the way while the ceremony was on. (It is always a good idea to think about the general public that might be around if you are getting married in a public place and check if their are permits that you need to get, as it is much easier to ask them to move on if you have booked the area)

No one could hear the celebrant, the guests were standing a little way away from the ceremony (maybe 3-4 metres) and there was no PA system. I heard a bit of what was going on when I got up close to take photos. No PA system mixed with the fact that there were people in the area going about their day, made it almost impossible for guests to hear. I know a wedding is about the couple, but why have guests come along if you don’t want them to be witness to the promises that you make.

The confusion that ensued when they had to sign the marriage register baffled me. I remember driving home and talking about it with my husband saying, if the celebrant had just explained it to the groomsmen when she first arrived they could have told the bridesmaids what was happening and it could have at least looked a bit seamless.  I was upset and annoyed that things weren’t perfect for the couple. I really hope that they thought that it was and they weren’t too upset or that people didn’t whinge and moan about it to them. I was also quite baffled that the celebrant would have been paid a considerable amount of money to do the job. She didn’t seem to love what she did or be excited or happy for the couple. I then told my husband that I thought I could do a better job than that. He responded saying ‘why don’t you? You love weddings’. The next week I started looking into the course, and the rest as they say is history.

I just want to make people’s day about them, and have the wedding that they want. I must admit I do love it when guests come and tell me that they thought the wedding was wonderful, or just really suited the couple. I love what I do and always want it to be the best for the people that have chosen me to be a part of their day.

A big thank you to all the photographers who have captured me doing what I love, and letting me use the photos. Check out some of their work.

Thank you to : Amy Schultz, Kirralee, Ateia Photography, and Sarah Churcher!

Nell and Glenn

Nell and Glenn were married at Mimosa Glen in Tooborac earlier this year. Mimosa Glen is not traditionally a wedding venue per-se, it is a homestead that has been restored and there is some lovely accommodation on the property too. It is a stunning place! The views everywhere you looked were exquisite. The weather was a perfect 24 degrees. You couldn’t really ask for more.

I’m not sure how many people believe in destiny, or that life will take you to a certain point at a certain time because that is exactly where you need to be. But for those of you who don’t believe, I’m not sure how else to explain what happened about 5 years ago.  Glenn, a lovely New Zealander, went to Ireland to look into his family history and then to work in Europe. Nell, a beautiful Australian lass, went to Ireland to do a similar thing. Glenn and Nell both start working for the same online poker company. Nell had been away from home for so long so Glenn, being an expat and a Kiwi, made her drawn to him. Her first impression of him was that he was quiet and handsome. There was a rumour around the workplace that Glenn was a party animal, which Nell now thinks is funny as it is not something that she would ever associate with Glenn. Glenn thought that Nell was very friendly and easy to talk to. He thought she was loud and brash and he really liked talking to her.

Nell and Glenn shared their vows in front of about 80 guests, they had people fly in from all around the world, the US, Ireland and New Zealand just to mention a few. Nell looked amazing, her dress and 1920’s inspired veil suited her perfectly. The attendants all wore a lovely green hue, that complemented the brown of the guys suits. They stood on top of a beautiful big rock with 3 attendants each. One of Nell’s bridesmaids,  Susan, wrote a song for the occasion and after Susan came down the aisle she took her place at the microphone and sang the rest of the girls into the ceremony site. Susan also sang while Nell and Glen signed their paper work and when they had been presented as the newly married couple and went through the most magnificent confetti shower that you have ever seen.

When I asked what they loved most about the other, Nell said that was really hard to answer, like when someone asks what is your favourite movie or favourite fruit. But she did say that she really loves Glenn’s nature, that he is honest, kind and gentle, he is quiet and not contrived. Glen said that he loves all of who Nell is. He loves her conviction, her drive and loves her sensitivity and caring nature. Being with Nell has always felt like where he is meant to be.  Glenn said that when Nell sets her sights on getting something done, she is determined and driven to achieve what she sets out to do. Nell said that Glenn is true to himself, he doesn’t pretend to be anything he is not.  They love spending time at home in each others company. They love bad zombie or horror and post apocalyptic movies, Video games, playing with and annoying their dog Greta, wandering around new places and eating great food together, whether it is going out for dinner or breakfast. They love to chat over a nice meal with a glass of wine.

Greta didn’t miss out on any of the festivities. She was there staying at the homestead too. On the day she had a beautiful floral collar. She made her grand entrance walking up to where Glenn was waiting for Nell. It was such a lovely moment as she did it all on her own. She spent most of the ceremony up on the rock with Nell and Glenn while they became husband and wife. Nell and Glenn wrote their own beautiful vows that reflected their feelings wonderfully.  Nell even quoted Dumbledore, saying “Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress – adventure”.

What a perfect day in the most lovely setting, with some of the loveliest people that you could ever meet. I never take for granted that I get to be a part of these wonderful ceremonies and to be right there when people get to make the most sacred promises to one another.  Another amazing wedding of people that I feel lucky that I got to know.

A very big Thank you to Andrew Hardy Photography for all of the stunning images from Nell and Glenn’s wonderful day. You can check out his website here, or his blog about the day by clicking here, or go and follow him on facebook  too.  Also have a look at the Mimosa Glen website, and see all that the property has to offer.