Tag Archives: wishing well

Wishing well at your Wedding.

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I am reading a lot of articles at the moment about people who are having a wishing well at their wedding. More and more, people are having this tradition at their wedding. People are living together before they are married, a lot more than when our parents were married. A lot of these articles are saying that having a wishing well at your wedding is tacky. I don’t think that it needs to be. I agree to an extent, some of the wording that I have seen requesting this has been harsh and can come across all wrong. I have previously blogged about gifts on your wedding day.

I have received these tacky wishing well requests myself and some of them just have it so so wrong. However I have also read some that worked really well. I think you also still have to give your guests the option to bring a gift too. Some people just really love buying the gift. I think you have to trust these people and know that they will put thought into doing so and are buying a gift because that brings them pleasure to think about what you would like and get that for you. Then there are people that can’t be bothered and they will go for the cash option. It can be uncomfortable for some people too, some people would love to give more than they can and some people just simply cannot afford to give a lot and this can be stressful for them. I remember attending one wedding where people were asking how much they should put into the wishing well and were discussing how much the couple were paying per head. The feeling was that guests should be at least contributing that amount plus some. This made me a little sad. Don’t people invite people to their wedding the majority of the time because they want them to be there? (There will always be a couple of people that you just have to invite though!)  Not to make more than they spend?

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There are some lovely poem ideas out there, or I recently saw a couple that suggested that people buy them vouchers from certain stores so they could afford a few appliances that they normally couldn’t justify buying. This is a lovely way for people to feel like they are not just giving cash and at the same time the couple can choose what they want. I have also heard of travel agents that you can set up for your honeymoon and guests can put money towards travel.

Also remember that there are a lot of cultures where this is nothing new, it’s just the way that they have been doing things forever. They give it in cards, envelopes, pin it to the brides dress, they give money in all sorts of ways. This is the way that it is done traditionally. If you are going to a wedding and this is the way that the families have done it for generations it is nice to think about going with their traditions too.

How do you feel about a wishing well at a wedding?

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Thank you again to the wonderful Betty and Keith at Untamed Images, for the use of their images again this  week. Check out their website here and their facebook page to see some more of their stunning work.

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Gifts and your wedding

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I recently had a discussion about wedding gifts with a friend of mine with an upcoming wedding. She is quite determined not to receive any gifts from their guests; she feels that her loved ones travelling to celebrate her matrimony is a gift more precious than any object.

Gift giving at a ceremony can be delicate, as some couples can be very specific – often the bride and groom may even be hurt if no gifts are given, even if it is requested of the guests not to bring any presents. More and more, couples are having a wishing well wedding or a honeymoon registry, having lived together and in no need for another toaster or kettle. Some couples feel uncomfortable with the idea of setting up a registry.  The registry can be a balancing act, you need to choose a range of gifts varying in price so that the guests do not feel pressured to spend outside of their price range and there are enough options to choose from. However do you risk getting four new kettles?

If you do choose to have a wishing well at your ceremony you need to be aware that some guests may not be totally comfortable with giving cash, and some may not be in the best financial situation. If you decide on a wishing well, make sure you are wary of the way your word it on the invitation. Some I have come across in the past have not been worded carefully and could even been interpreted as greedy.

If you, like my friend, don’t feel like exploring any of these options, I suggest that you ask those who really insist on giving a gift if they might like to donate to a charity in your and your partners name. You made decide to select a few charities and let the guests decide which to donate to. Alternatively you could leave it to your guests to donate to a charity that means a lot to them, you may learn something new about your loved ones and this way it keeps both you and your guests inclined to giving gifts happy.

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