‘No ring, No bring’ rule

 

There has been some talk lately about the ‘no ring, no bring rule’ for guests and people bringing a plus one.  Discussions were suggesting that you only invite some guests to bring a partner to the wedding if they are engaged, or married. I found this all very interesting. I don’t really think there is a one rule for everyone approach to this. There are a lot of factors that should be considered when you are making up your guests list and inviting partners. It is a touchy and interesting subject that there will be varying opinions about, the same as having children at your wedding. There will always be someone who is offended if you don’t attach a plus one to their invite, but you would think that most people will be happy to be invited.

Consider your budget.

Can you afford to have people who may be single or not in a committed relationship bringing a partner to the wedding? If it isn’t a problem that they come, why not let people bring someone with them right? If you are on very limited numbers as it is and your friend isn’t seeing anyone exclusively maybe it doesn’t matter if they come on their own to your wedding.  If your wedding is a champagne on the beach celebration where people bring a picnic, and you didn’t let single people bring a plus one, that may be seen as a little offensive. But there is the other side of the coin where if you are having a fine dining experience for 35 guests, it wouldn’t seem strange to only invite people without a plus one.

Venue.

If your venue only holds 100 people and the guest list is tight, people should understand if they can’t have a plus one on the invitation. If you were having  the wedding on a paddle steamer and could only have a certain number people should understand. It’s a tough process to work out who you leave on and off the list.

 

Will they know anyone else at the wedding?

I think this is a huge factor, and it’s hard if the people getting married are the only people that the guest knows, it makes sense to me to have someone there that they can bring. For some people it is really hard to strike up a conversation and will really feel uncomfortable having no one else that they know there. I guess it depends on how much you want that person at your wedding. If you really want them there and they don’t really know anyone else that well maybe its worth having them bring a plus one so that you don’t have to be worried that they are ok and feeling like you need to have someone check on them or keep spending time hoping they are having a good time.

Who the guest is.

At my wedding it was really small but my Gran was traveling a long way, it wasn’t really a plus one as such but I suggested that maybe she bring one of her sisters, or a friend with her just so that she was ok, not just with the wedding itself but to have someone staying with her while she was there. Sometimes it’s hard or scary for the elderly especially at night, sometimes other relatives would take them but if that isn’t the case maybe having them able to bring someone makes a difference if they could attend or not. Maybe someone with special needs and would feel better having someone with them.

 

Maybe one of your friends has just separated from a partner, and the wedding might be really tough for them, they may need some extra support and you might want to consider them bringing someone with them, again it really depends who else is going and will there be anyone there from a bigger circle of friends or relatives that they can feel supported by.

I think the whole ‘no ring, no bring’ is  silly, some people don’t want to get married or can’t, it’s silly to call it a ‘no ring, no bring’ rule. I do think though if your mate is a happy single, between partners, hopefully looking or a tinder regular (which is fine, no judgement here) he or she would understand that you probably don’t want to pay for the meal of someone that you will maybe never see again. There are always reasons that you might or might not invite people and I think it is always a case by case situation. What do you think?

A big thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their photos on the blog this week. You can see more of their work on their website or check them out on Facebook by clicking here.

 

Should weddings be on a Saturday?

Of late I have spoken to two brides to be; they both told me their wedding HAD to be on a Saturday. It doesn’t bother me what day people choose to get married, I’ll marry someone at 1:15 on a Wednesday if it’s what the couple want. I’m sure I would still feel the same joy and excitement that I do for all newly weds. No matter what day the bride and groom choose to join in matrimony it will be a day of love and a memory kept for a lifetime.

Does a wedding need to be on a Saturday to truly feel right?

I love a wedding any day of the week, however I personally enjoy a weekend wedding. To me a Sunday wedding seems more laid back – some venues will charge less for the couple to have their ceremony then. However a Sunday wedding is becoming more popular and the venues are beginning to set a weekend rate. Often most couples feel a Sunday wedding doesn’t accommodate to all guests, as some will have work the following Monday. However having your wedding on a Sunday may ensure the majority of your guests will leave once the reception has officially ended and possibly drink less, as they won’t have a day to recover before work. Often at a Saturday wedding guests tend to indulge and drink a lot more than they would if the following day was a Monday.

I would love to conduct more Friday weddings, however they aren’t overly popular. I don’t have anything against a Friday wedding or any weekday wedding for that matter; reception venues tend to be cheaper during the week. However it’s best to give your guests plenty of time between sending your invites/ save the date cards and the wedding – a lot of them will need to make sure that they have time off work. I know if one of my loved ones was planning a Friday wedding I would make sure I had time off and not really be bothered about the fact the wedding was on a weekday. This may turn out to be a great way to cull your guest list, people who really want to be there will most likely work to arrange a day off or apply for annual leave. A positive outcome if you are planning to have a wedding out of town with the possibility of booking a place for a long weekend, keeping the guest list to a minimum and extending the festivities for a few days.

Do you think the day a wedding is held matters? How would it affect you if a loved one chose a weekday wedding?

Thanks once again to Vision House Photography for the use of their lovely wedding photos. Check out their  website here.