‘No ring, No bring’ rule

 

There has been some talk lately about the ‘no ring, no bring rule’ for guests and people bringing a plus one.  Discussions were suggesting that you only invite some guests to bring a partner to the wedding if they are engaged, or married. I found this all very interesting. I don’t really think there is a one rule for everyone approach to this. There are a lot of factors that should be considered when you are making up your guests list and inviting partners. It is a touchy and interesting subject that there will be varying opinions about, the same as having children at your wedding. There will always be someone who is offended if you don’t attach a plus one to their invite, but you would think that most people will be happy to be invited.

Consider your budget.

Can you afford to have people who may be single or not in a committed relationship bringing a partner to the wedding? If it isn’t a problem that they come, why not let people bring someone with them right? If you are on very limited numbers as it is and your friend isn’t seeing anyone exclusively maybe it doesn’t matter if they come on their own to your wedding.  If your wedding is a champagne on the beach celebration where people bring a picnic, and you didn’t let single people bring a plus one, that may be seen as a little offensive. But there is the other side of the coin where if you are having a fine dining experience for 35 guests, it wouldn’t seem strange to only invite people without a plus one.

Venue.

If your venue only holds 100 people and the guest list is tight, people should understand if they can’t have a plus one on the invitation. If you were having  the wedding on a paddle steamer and could only have a certain number people should understand. It’s a tough process to work out who you leave on and off the list.

 

Will they know anyone else at the wedding?

I think this is a huge factor, and it’s hard if the people getting married are the only people that the guest knows, it makes sense to me to have someone there that they can bring. For some people it is really hard to strike up a conversation and will really feel uncomfortable having no one else that they know there. I guess it depends on how much you want that person at your wedding. If you really want them there and they don’t really know anyone else that well maybe its worth having them bring a plus one so that you don’t have to be worried that they are ok and feeling like you need to have someone check on them or keep spending time hoping they are having a good time.

Who the guest is.

At my wedding it was really small but my Gran was traveling a long way, it wasn’t really a plus one as such but I suggested that maybe she bring one of her sisters, or a friend with her just so that she was ok, not just with the wedding itself but to have someone staying with her while she was there. Sometimes it’s hard or scary for the elderly especially at night, sometimes other relatives would take them but if that isn’t the case maybe having them able to bring someone makes a difference if they could attend or not. Maybe someone with special needs and would feel better having someone with them.

 

Maybe one of your friends has just separated from a partner, and the wedding might be really tough for them, they may need some extra support and you might want to consider them bringing someone with them, again it really depends who else is going and will there be anyone there from a bigger circle of friends or relatives that they can feel supported by.

I think the whole ‘no ring, no bring’ is  silly, some people don’t want to get married or can’t, it’s silly to call it a ‘no ring, no bring’ rule. I do think though if your mate is a happy single, between partners, hopefully looking or a tinder regular (which is fine, no judgement here) he or she would understand that you probably don’t want to pay for the meal of someone that you will maybe never see again. There are always reasons that you might or might not invite people and I think it is always a case by case situation. What do you think?

A big thank you to Untamed Images for the use of their photos on the blog this week. You can see more of their work on their website or check them out on Facebook by clicking here.

 

Dress Codes

Dress codes at wedding ceremonies is something many people can struggle with, not only the guests. Often people misunderstand what different dress codes mean and rather than considering their options some couples put it into the ‘too hard basket’. The only issue with that is dressing incorrectly for the event is more likely. This does not bother some people, however the bride and groom may be offended if people don’t dress appropriately. If the guests have been informed of the dress code prior to the event, it is more likely to be adhered to. One statement I don’t like on an invite, unless it’s for 21^st, is ‘Dress to Impress’ – impress whom?

As a guest, I personally find it tough to know what to wear when the dress code isn’t stated on the invitation. I never want to turn up to an event underdressed. I am a strong believer of respecting wedding ceremonies, as they are lovely sacred moments where guests should dress appropriately. Although as a celebrant I can assure you there are some who dress as though it’s just another party.

It also depends on whether or not what your guests wear bothers you – if it doesn’t, trust them to make up their own mind. You may decide to put a little note on your invite such as; dress smart casual, which generally means no jeans with the possibility of no tie for men, women may choose to wear pants.  Alternatively if you prefer or your venue requires men to wear a jacket you may want to further research different dress codes.

Lounge suit – This is probably the most common and most appropriate for a semi formal wedding before 5pm. This suggests that men should wear a suit with a shirt and tie and women a dress suitable for daytime.

Cocktail – This is the evening version of lounge suit; usually for weddings starting after 5pm. Men (in theory) should still wear a shirt and tie and suit jacket, however women should wear a more evening appropriate style of dress.

Morning suit – This is where it starts to get dressy – used for a formal day time wedding, usually men are expected to wear tailcoats and waistcoats and women a formal daytime dress and hat.

Black tie – Formal by most people’s standards, men are expected to wear a tuxedo and bow tie and women an evening gown or cocktail dress.

White tie – The most formal dress code for upscale weddings, ball gowns for women and dress coats with waistcoats for men.

Most couples don’t feel the need to be strict with the dress code on their invitations and are happy to state smart casual, semi formal or formal.  Make sure however you are aware this may be open for interpretation by your guests. If you want to give your guests a little more guidance you could state cocktail dress optional therefore they understand what you expect most people to wear.

How do you feel about dress codes? Do they often confuse you?

Thank you to Untamed Images for the photos on the blog this week. Have a look at the other great work that they do at the Untamed Images Website.