Tag Archives: order of service booklets

10 ways to honour those that have passed away in your Wedding


Honouring those that have passed away on your wedding day can be very tricky. It can be a real balancing act. You want to make sure you acknowledge people, but you don’t want to go into so much detail that you are upsetting yourself and important guests. A lot of it can depends on who you are honouring. It is understandable that these people are all missed greatly and it is a day that you would have loved to share with them.  Do you need to say something in the ceremony or is it something that you wish to do another way without words?

1. Mentioning your loved one in the ceremony.
This is the most obvious one, and is probably the one that most people think of. You can put as little or as much in to the ceremony as you want about  your loved one. It is much easier to mention elderly relatives that have passed away, especially if they passed away some time ago and they had a full and happy life. It is harder with someone taken too soon, and more recently. You need to think about how you will react when they are mentioned and if you will be glad that they have been acknowledged or if being reminded that they can’t be there with you will hurt too much.


2. Carry them close to your heart.
One way that you can honour the people special to you is to have photos of them in a locket that you wear on the day, or pin into your dress. A photo can be placed inside a pocket watch that is on your suit. A lovely idea I have seen is to have small frames pinned to your bouquet. I think this is a great way to have them with you all day and present in your day.

3. A photo table or photo wall.
I have seen this done at a number of weddings and it is a lovely way to remember all of the people that cannot be with you. You can also have photos of people who are unable to attend for other reasons not just because they have passed away. I have seen this done at quite a few weddings. It is something that is not “too in your face” for guests that are still feeling the hurt of the loss of their loved ones too.


4.  Leaving an empty seat at the ceremony.
I have yet to attend a wedding where this is done. When I first heard about it, I thought that it was a beautiful idea. But then I thought a little more about it and realised that someone has to sit next to that seat. Maybe your dad had passed away, but your mum would have to sit next to an empty chair and be reminded on an already difficult day that the man she loved is not there with her.

5. Choose a song that was special to the person.
This could be a wonderful way to honour someone special to you. You could have it when you are signing the marriage register or when you are walking out of the ceremony after it has finished. Especially if it isn’t a song that everyone knew was their favourite, only a select few would know. Maybe not a great idea if it was played at their funeral. And perhaps if it is known that it was their favourite song, give some of your family a heads up so that they don’t get  a shock on the day.


6. Making a note in your order of service booklets.
This is another way that you can mention special people that are missed on your special day and another way that isn’t too in your face. Although people will read it, it is usually before you have arrived for the ceremony. It isn’t going to be a surprise moment to anyone and those who are missing people are not going to be taken aback by this as much as they might if you were to choose to keep an empty seat or play a song that was special to the person that has passed away.

7.  Light a candle for them during your ceremony, or have one burning near their photo.
This is a lovely idea for inside in a chapel or any wedding that is indoors. If you are having an outdoor wedding maybe use a battery operated one burning for them, it would be upsetting to have a candle blow out when it is representing someone special to you. Something so small could have a big impact on select guests.

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8. Use something special to them as part of your favours or bonbonnerie.
This is a great way to represent your loved ones. You could have some family famous biscuits, made from your Nan’s recipe. Or have some special after dinner mints that were a favourite of your uncle. You could choose a candle scented with someones signature scent.  Again you can decide if you mention this fact to your other guests.  I attended a wedding where they used the names of people that they wished were at their wedding instead of table numbers.

9. Release balloons or butterflies.
This can be done at the ceremony or you could just choose to do this for your photos and at a time when you could take a moment or two to think of the person that you have lost. It doesn’t have to be something that is shared with everyone else.


10. Sew something of theirs into your dress or wear it as a pocket square.
It could be some fabric from something that was everyday for them. A handkerchief, or an item of clothing. You can have this visible, maybe in the shape of a heart or you could have it sewn into the dress close to your heart. You could choose one of your Grandpa’s blue ties and have it sewn into the hem of your dress as your something blue. It could be a small piece of someones favourite old t-shirt that they wore all the time.   Maybe they had a lucky coin or charm that you could have in your inner pocket or have little spot sewn into your dress just for it. The options on this one are endless.

At the end of the day, the person you are honouring was probably loved by so many people so be aware of those people too. I know it is your day, but you also need to think of those that might still be hurting and grieving. No matter how many years have passed. I’m a firm believer in that time doesn’t heal. It is just you are more used to the pain.
My Gran tells me all the time that before my grandfather died, he said to her that he would never see my younger sister turn 21. I know that every time one of her grandchildren turned 21, she would think of him and be sad that he couldn’t share the time or celebration with her. She is now seeing some of her great grandchildren turn 21 and I know that it is still a little bit upsetting for her every time she is invited to a party, although she is happy for the person who’s birthday it is.
Have you attended a wedding where they had a great way of honouring someone who had passed away?


Thank you to Love Journal for the photos for this weeks blog. Check them out on their website here or like them on facebook by clicking here.


Filed under Ceremony ideas, Wedding Planning

Heidi and Alex

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What a wedding this was!! So wonderfully put together with a LOT of hard work from Heidi and Alex.

I first met Heidi and Alex in November. I was recommended by their friends, another couple that are getting married later this year. They are all in the same friends circle and it has been a real pleasure getting to know all of them.

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Their wedding day marked 2 years since Heidi and Alex went on their first date. After that first date, the second, third and fourth followed on consecutive evenings. They then started spending more evenings a week together than they spent apart, and after 4 months moved in together. They have been inseparable ever since.  If anyone spends time with Alex and Heidi they will clearly see just how in love they are.  When you walk into their home, you see the beautiful painting that Alex created to propose to Heidi with. I instantly wanted to know the story behind the proposal. When I asked them questions about what they love about the other, I received some truly lovely responses.

What Heidi loves about Alex is his kindness, his honesty, the way he understands her and takes care of her, the way he loves her and makes her smile. Most of all It is the way that Alex protects her and makes me feel safe no matter what. She loves his smile, every different one. Heidi loves that he loves his family more than anything and always wants to help them out in every way.

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Alex mentioned that he loves most about Heidi is how she makes him feel about himself, even though he feels that may be selfish! When he is with her, he feels more ‘himself’ that he ever had before he met her – she brings out more and more of what he likes in himself and almost makes him feel more ‘pure’ than he had been. She brings out his creative side and his desire to create, draw, paint, read and write. He is not sure how she manages to do it, or whether it is intentional, but it is something Alex is forever thankful for.

Their wedding was out on a property belonging to one of their friends in Gladysdale, and the only thing that was in the area was a lovely big tree. Everything else had to be taken there on the day. It was a beautiful day for it, not too hot, but a lovely sunny March afternoon.  They had a marquee and chairs set up under the big beautiful tree. They had lots of drinks, food and lots of iced tea. No details were forgotten, all of the rows of chairs had handmade flowers in a vintage mug tied to the sides of them. They had a lovely chalk board telling their guests to pick a seat, not a side. There was plenty of water for guests to keep hydrated, the cutest little packets of tic tacs I’ve ever seen, and some of the best order of service booklets I have seen in a long time. (see the blog about them here) Everything was themed in white and purple, Heidi’s favourite colour. Everyone thought that Heidi was going to be wearing a purple dress and all of her attendants were wearing white, (with awesome jelly sandals mind you!) but on the day everyone was surprised when Heidi arrived in a beautiful white dress.

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Emotions ran high when Heidi walked down the aisle, there were lots of tears. It was beautiful. In a ceremony filled with references to various children’s books, one of Heidi’s bridesmaids read Dr Seuss’ Oh the places you will go. She did a wonderful job of reading such a long and tongue twisting reading! And just when people thought that it couldn’t get any better, they read from their Mr. Men order of service booklets that Mr Burger was arriving to feed everyone their main meal.

It was a magnificent day, that I was privileged to be a part of. Heidi said to me on the day that she was sad that we wouldn’t be needing to keep in touch any more. I’m so glad that we will be seeing each other in a few months time for the wedding of Wayne and Sarah.

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Thank- you to Sarah Godenzi for the use of the photos from Heidi and Alex’s beautiful day. You can check out her website, blog and facebook page for more of her work.



Filed under Recent Weddings

Fantastic order of service books


I recently conducted a wedding that had the best order of service booklets. The theme of children’s books ran strongly throughout this wedding and it worked perfectly. Both Heidi and Alex are very artistic!

When I first saw the order of service books I was blown away. It took me straight back to my childhood reading Mr Men and Little Miss books.  Alex spent countless hours working on these. What I really loved was that they were so personal and really allowed the personalities of the bride and groom (and those of all of the people included in their bridal party) to shine through.


They told everyone about the people in the wedding, what was going to go on during the ceremony, what was happening for the rest of the day, what time the Mr  Burger van was arriving to feed them and a great list of things to do on the day.

Not only were they fun and full of information for throughout the day they were a huge talking point. I heard numerous people talking about them and I don’t think I have been to a wedding in a long time where people were all keen to take the order of service booklet home to keep.


Have you been to a wedding recently with great order of service booklets or anything else that was a great talking point?

I’ll be sharing my blog about Heidi and Alex’s wonderful wedding soon.

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Filed under Ceremony ideas, Recent Weddings

Post wedding day blues


Once all of the excitement of your wedding day is over – often it can be very difficult to settle in. You have had your big day and it was one of the greatest experiences of your life thus far, it can be hard to accept the big day is over – all of the planning and stress is no more.  There are no more dates set in the calendar, no more bridal showers or hens days – this can often be a little disheartening.

There are quite a few things you can do to keep yourself busy and help keep those lovely memories from your special day alive.

Thank you cards

This is a job that should be done close to the wedding date, it is a good gesture and is easily done earlier rather than later, while you can still remember who gave you what gift. It’s good to write a custom letter to each person, whether is it about a gift given or a lovely moment you shared at the wedding, rather than just a generic message. This can be time consuming but enjoying resurfacing beautiful memories of your wedding day.



Save the cake

Saving the cake is a old tradition from when couples got married to have children and the cake could be used around the couples first anniversary when the child was to be christened, the tradition is still popular for different reasons. However with the wide variety of cakes today, you need to be aware not all cakes or top tiers will freeze well. It is something you will need to research before committing to.

Preserve your dress

You have spent a considerable amount of time and money on your wedding dress, you may want to do some research into having your dress professionally cleaned and then decide if you are going to store it away, or possibly sell it. This is totally up to you; depending on how sentimental you are or if you think you may never wear it again and want to make some money back while it is still in fashion.


Keep your Bouquet

This is something a lot of people don’t really think about, and again it depends if you have a floral bouquet (you can read my blogs about bouquets here). You may decide to research the different options on preserving your bouquet. If you choose to have flowers you can have them dried, pressed, or freeze dried. These things vary in cost and some of them you can do yourself. You may decide to frame them – I have heard lately of people framing them with your wedding certificate or with all the beautiful good luck keepsakes.

Wedding Album

This might take a little while to come to you and may depend on your photographer and package you have purchased – this is an exciting prospect. Whether you go to the studio and work out an album with your photographer, or you get the digital files and spend time designing your own album. It can be a challenging and time consuming project, but something that is worth the time. Those of you who read my blog regularly will know how strongly I feel about great photos and these being some of the best memories, I think this is time well invested and I don’t know of anyone who has put time into a wedding album and been disappointed with the result.


Memory scrap book

It may take time for you to get your photos back from your photographer, some take a while and some seem to get them to you quite quickly, in the meantime you might want to get photos from your friends and family, and get bits and pieces from the ceremony. I did this as I wanted to have something to share with people and I knew it would take a while to get the final album from the photographer (there wasn’t the joy of digital photography back then, nor could I have a great instagram hashtag for people to check out photos from the day) so I used things like the order of service booklet, menus from the tables and photos from family and friends with different perspectives of our special day.

Sell off the things you no longer need

This can be a great way to keep busy and work out what things you want to keep and what you can live without. Especially if you have spent a lot of money on table decorations, you could sell it on eBay, or Gumtree, as a set or you could split it up and sell them separately.




Start to plan something new

Depending whether you went straight on your honeymoon or not you might like to plan a holiday or honeymoon (you can read about Honeymoon decisions I previously blogged about here). Otherwise you might want to plan a girls or boys weekend away or a weekend away with your husband or a bit of a reunion weekend with some friends you didn’t feel you spent enough time with since your wedding.  A big dinner party is a great alternative or something else you can enjoy with your friends and family.

Do you have any great post-wedding tips for people who feel a little ‘lost’ after their big day?

A big thank-you to Kirralee for the use of her lovely photos, check out the link to the blog about this wedding here.


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Filed under wedding ideas, Wedding Planning, wedding tips