Being a part of someone’s wedding doesn’t just involve turning up on the day and looking great in your dress or suit. There are many things you need to take into consideration. It can be huge responsibility being a part of a wedding – something that the bride and groom must seriously consider (read more about this in my blog about selecting and honouring people in your wedding here).
The select few need to be aware that is takes a lot of work when you are a part of someone’s bridal party – often being expected to plan and pay for things that contribute to the special day. In addition the bride and groom need to take the amount of work they expect their closest friends and family to contribute into consideration. It is a great idea to plan just how much each person is contributing – minimising confusion amongst your nearest and dearest closer to the special day. The bride and groom should inform the attendants well before the date what they are expected to buy for the day, this could mean contributing to the dresses and suits for the bridal party. Often this is not clear; as a part of the wedding party it is always a good idea to ask – lay out all the expenses on the table and plan the payment. If you, as the bride or groom, are covering expenses for the bridal party, you may like to have the final say on what is to be worn, however when expecting the guests to contribute, a certain amount of leeway should be taken into consideration.
There are often a lot of events that members of the bridal party are expected to be at. I feel one of the most crucial pre-wedding event is the rehearsal, it is really important that the wedding party attends. This is beneficial not only for me as a celebrant to become acquainted with the attendants, but also for the wedding party to become familiar with their role on the day. I once had an guest tell the couple that he was “too cool” to go to the rehearsal, funnily enough he was the one with the most questions on the day; looking a little lost when everyone was getting into place. The point of a wedding rehearsal isn’t to put people out or burden them with yet another commitment, it is aimed to help the wedding party feel comfortable with the ceremony and to ensure all will run smoothly on the day. It may feel some what daunting to be a part of the immediate wedding party on display at the ceremony, having the knowledge of what is expected on the day makes the experience that bit easier. It is a great chance to ensure the music; timing and placement are perfect for the big day.
A lot of time needs to be spent, picking out clothes, planning a bridal shower and hens and buck events. For the most part the wedding party is expected to be a part of these traditions where possible. It is perfectly understandable if you are overseas or out of town, however, traditionally the wedding party plan these events and the support of the bride and grooms nearest and dearest is expected.
What you, as a part of the wedding party, must always take into consideration is that this is the bride and grooms day and it is going to be one of the most special events in their life. They may get a little stressed and grumpy, but try and look past that and remember that this is what their world has revolved around for several months. Enjoy the moment and feel honoured to be a part of their special day.
Thanks again to Kirralee for the use of her amazing images. Check out her blog here.