I had a dear friend message me, who is engaged but is feeling a little overwhelmed with the thought of some tasks when planning her wedding. Her fiance has about 1 million BFF’s, well maybe not a million but a lot of friends that he is very close to. I think it is a really hard decision when choosing your bridal party. Many people find this overwhelming and feel pressure from someone that feels that they should be in the wedding. This should be your decision and true friends will understand if they are not asked to be in the bridal party. You can’t have everyone as your attendants as there would be no-one left to invite! People should understand that it is a great honour to be invited to the wedding too.
Sometimes if you want to have someone who is very special to you, but don’t think it is appropriate to have them in your bridal party you can always have them as your witness. This is a special role, as they are witnessing the wedding and their names will be part of all the historical documents. It is a great was of including people if there are just too many people that you want to involve. It is a creative idea if you or your partner have more friends that you want to include or don’t want to have an uneven number of attendants. Sometimes you have a friend that may be quite shy or will definitely not want to wear the outfit that is chosen, this can be a really great role for them. There have been quite a few people who have recently had their parents sign the paperwork.
The role of attendant, Groomsman, Bridesmaid, Best Man, Maid or Matron of Honour are roles that are to be taken seriously. I believe they should be people that are extremely close to your heart, people that have been there for you through the good times and bad. And of course, people who support your relationship and are in the friendship for the long haul. Sure, it can be a very glamorous part of the day to enter with the bride or be standing up the front with the Groom, but there can be a side that isn’t all glamour. Sometimes the attendants need to help the bride use the bathroom, keeping nerves at bay, make Speeches, organise transport, making payments, keep an eye on the bar tab, keep the Brides Father away from Cousin Frank, or just make sure that the Bride and Groom are never without a drink. As a couple these are things that you want to keep in mind when choosing people to be in your bridal party. You want the people that are close to you but also the people that can be relied upon and trusted in these roles.
It is also significant to honour people who are no longer with us, people that have passed away or people who simply for whatever reason cannot be with you on your special day. I find that there are a lot of different ways that you can do this. You can mention them in your ceremony. This can be a small comment or a larger section about them influencing your life or the impact that they made on you. Just be mindful that emotions can be quite high on the day already and this may add to it. There is nothing wrong with an emotionally charged ceremony, as long as you are aware of the effects it may have on you on the day. Another way to have something to remind you of people passed away could be your in accessories or things that you keep with you on your day.
Another way that you can honour people is to use there names to identify tables at the reception, rather than having tables 1 through 6 you could have Henry, Chester, Ester, Jenny, Tate and Kelly. It is also a way to get people chatting at the reception. You may want to put a little note in your order of service booklet, or have someone mention people for you in the speeches. Again the only thing that limits you with this is your imagination and your creativity.
Thanks to Corey Brown for the use of some of his lovely wedding photos, check out his work and blog here.