Children in the wedding ceremony

There are so many ways to have children be a part of your special day, and many children that may be included in your ceremony, too.  These may be children of your own or the children of someone close to you. There are many ways to include them in your wedding day.  You can have them as a part of the wedding ceremony, or part of the bridal party. Having them in the bridal party can sometimes be tricky, especially with really young children as they sometimes ‘don’t feel like it’ on the day. Sometimes they surprise you and are stars, but sometimes they don’t want the attention and just want their mum.

Some children really love it.  One child in a wedding I conducted wanted to stand at the front the whole wedding, he was the ring bearer.  When he was asked at the rehearsal if he would like to sit at the front with the other attendants he declined, telling us that he had an important job to do. He wanted to stand with cushion in hand ready to present the rings. He took his role very seriously.

Another way you can have children in your ceremony is to have them incorporated into your asking, or consider making vows to them. I recently conducted a wedding (see previous posts) and this is exactly what was done and it was beautiful and moving.  Many guests afterwards mentioned how lovely and special this was. This is where the groom also presented the little girl with a pendant matching the wedding rings. Not only was this a beautiful moment, the little girl involved was surprised and very proud of the gift given to her, to represent the love that they all shared. After the ceremony she was very proud to show it to people who were asking her about it.

You can also get your children involved with a candle ceremony or a sand ceremony.  These can talk about uniting families and blending families, and are a great way to symbolise that you will be a family and still remain individuals. Sometimes weddings can be hard for children, and with different step family and different family dynamics these things can be a good way to let children know that it is not just about the couple being married and now husband and wife, but a great way to bring up that you are all a family together now and they are loved and included in this day too. It is a good way to get children talking about everything involved in the day, especially if they are a bit older and not sure how they feel, or not prepared to talk about how they feel it may be a way to talk about it and reassure them that you want them to be involved as well.

Thanks to Lauren for the amazing photos, check her other photography work out here.



Filed under wedding tips

5 responses to “Children in the wedding ceremony

  1. Megs

    We will never forget having our daughter as a part of our ceremony. It was wonderful that you have a very relaxed attitude and allowed us to be free to choose and decide what we wanted in our ceremony in your words “it’s completely up to you” – your help and guidance abut our ideas made the day run smoothly and the little touches that we may not have thought of really made a huge difference. We were not sure if our daughter would join in or run away from being in front of so many people – but she loved it and felt very comfortable with you after having the chance to hang out a few times (loved that!!) – thank you so much for being an amazing celebrant and an amazing person and leaving both of us and our daughter with memories and moments we will never forget xx

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